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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years now. I do love him a lot, but we are very different. He always swears and yells and gets angry/frustrated very easily. While I am more patience and slow to get frustrated and take joy in the things that make him mad.. like grocery shopping, errands, driving, etc. That all aside when I first met him he was smoking weed in front of me a lot. I do not smoke and do not like it what so ever. I asked him to stop smoking in front of me because it bothered me a lot. He said that he didnít do it that often and wanted to have it only on a Sunday. After a year he finally told me that he had stopped. About a year later I found out that he had been doing it again... all the time that I had asked him to stop. He promised me that he will stop and he would never do that again and would not lie to me. I found out that when I went away on a trip he had been doing it again. I broke up with him and told him that I couldnít stand him lying to me and most of all smoking. He made me dinner, bought me flowers, promised to go and get counseling and threw out all of his drug paraphernalia. He went and did all that, but now I have such a funny feeling that he is doing it again. I surprised him one night at his house and it just smelt of smoke... he told me he hadnít smoked and I was crazy and got very upset with me that I would accuse him of doing that. About 2 weeks later he tells me that he was smoking a cigar. He came over to my house a few days ago and his face and hair smelt of smoke.. he told me I was paranoid and that it was his cologne that he put on his face. Last night I got in his car and it smelt like smoke again. So now im at the point that I want to confront him for the 3rd time. But he is at the point that he will never tell me. He told me once that he would lie and take things to his grave. Soooo.. what are my options? I can tell him that I will walk away from him (not knowing 100% if he really is smoking again) or I can stay with him until I find some evidence.. or just forget about it and pretend nothing is wrong. I really do love him and he is my first, but I want to get married one day and settle down, and I cannot do that with someone that lies to me about something so important. Any thoughts?

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