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Am I being a brat?
Dec 27, 2011
I understand Christmas is all about giving and not receiving... however, it's also about giving what someone would want, not necessarily need. And if someone asks you what you want, why is is to wrong to expect that? This year, my husband of 16 years for Christmas brought me 2 bras and 3 pairs of panties... yes, it was from Victoria's Secret, but for real??? BRAS & PANTIES!

I'm angry. I put thought into everything I bought for him... I even bought gifts from the kids. He bought me 2 bras and 3 panties... I'm pissed and I'm hurt and I don't want to fake as if I'm happy... If I'm wrong, I'm ok with being wrong, and I will learn to deal with it; but am I being a brat?

NoMerryForMe!
sounds like the hubs bought you a present that HE would like.......
I don't blame you for being mad!
If you told him what you wanted, then yes I'm surprised he got you something entirely different. Maybe his motives are selfish (they're for him) or maybe he really thought you'd like getting something "sexy" but maybe after you cool down you could explain that it didn't seem that he made any effort to get you something you actually wanted and that it even appears this "present" was more for him.

My DH and I give each other lists. We may not strictly adhere to them, but if we go "off list" it's for items we know the other person wants.
my wife gave me her list, Friday before Christmas. with two items on it #1= a pink cardigan sweater. #2= a book light that clips on her book to read. it's hard for me to shop because I haven't driven since my stroke in 1992.

my daughter always takes me shopping, we went to the mall and found the sweater and book light.

I remembered months ago, she'd shown me an earring she'd said she'd like to have another pair of something similar. she said they were Amber? heck! I didn't know Amber was a stone? I thought it was a color. when she gave me her list of 2 items, she told me that's all she wanted me to buy. we're going to Key West Florida next month, there is a jeweler there she seems to get great deals from, she'd buy herself something while we were there. she'd mentioned chocolate diamonds?

my daughter and I wet to every jeweler in the mall, none had any actual Amber stones? but did have a nice set of earrings and necklace Amber colored for about $670.00. so I got those. another well known jeweler had chocolate diamond earrings for $680.00. so I got those also. he had the matching necklace, but I didn't have the cash on me, or would have got that too. I will NOT Christmas shop using credit! but I thought I'd put extra thought into her gifts and she'd be happy with what I did get? a few little trinket stocking stuffers and I was done in one trip in 2 1/2 hours! and home by 10 PM.

we have everything we need, any want is just an extra.

Sunday afternoon we were both happy with what we got.

if I'd bought my wife two bras and three panties? take a wild guess as to who she'd try to make wear the panties? YEP ME!!!!żż

we've been married over 31 years, I know better!

so sorry for you, I'd be pissed too with socks and underwear she knows better too I hope?

god bless

coupe/Larry
Thanks all for not making me feel like a loser... I know there are so many other things I could worry about. I'm just feeling some kind of way. I've decided that since I have a job, I will just get what I want myself!!
Not trying to make light of the situation but were they even something you'd wear?

I never understood guys that do this. I always thought it was a joke but few people really did. Heck, for my step-moms birthday my dad got her a crockpot! LOL

A good rule of thumb I've always thought was when buying a gift or present for your wife/gf think beforehand "Would this get me in the doghouse?".

:wave:
Lol... don't get me wrong... they were nice as far as nice goes-extremely. And if it were an ordinary Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, etc... I'd probably say "yayyy"... But it was my CHRISTMAS present. Not ONE of many, my ONLY... One other thing, VS sells fantasies. I'm a 36DD (normal); a VS 36DD is too small. I've got a behind, so a medium (normal) is fine; a VS medium is too small... so I've got to go on a diet just to fit into it!!!! Unless of course, that's all about the fantasy!!
so exchange them for a size that fits!
Ok, from a different viewpoint, I am just going to say I don't get this. My relative does this -- she gives me a list of items she wants, and if I breach from the list slightly (so as to take her idea and put my own thought into it), she gets angry. Its like I have to get exactly what she wants, like I have no mind of my own. So this year I didn't ask -- I'm tired of being dictated to about what I should or shouldn't buy. She actually tells me what to get for everyone in the family. I thought a list was to generate ideas, from which you were to then choose what you wanted to give that person. Not have to follow to a T.

You are surely allowed to feel however you feel. Not meant to diminish your feelings, just providing a different viewpoint on the situation.
How can your husband be sol completely clueless after being married for 16 years? Is he just an unthoughtful and selfish guy in general? That's something that always makes me scratch my head when people who've been married THAT long don't seem to know their spouse at all and pull these bonehead moves. It's like, what has he been doing all these years? Does he seriously not know you at all after SO long to not know you'd be upset about this kind of lame gift? How much does he care about you otherwise? Is he a jerk?
Have you talked to your husband about how you felt about this? I hope you have because communication is key in any relationship and if you're not happy about it, tell him. There was probably some sort of thought process that was involved (whether it's right or not, that's up to you) so let him tell you his side of the story. Hopefully he'll take this as a learning experience.

Not to sound argumentative, but people are always learning about their relationship/partner. There's no set period of time in which a person knows the other person to the T.


[QUOTE=janetJ;4900640]Ok, from a different viewpoint, I am just going to say I don't get this. My relative does this -- she gives me a list of items she wants, and if I breach from the list slightly (so as to take her idea and put my own thought into it), she gets angry. Its like I have to get exactly what she wants, like I have no mind of my own. So this year I didn't ask -- I'm tired of being dictated to about what I should or shouldn't buy. She actually tells me what to get for everyone in the family. I thought a list was to generate ideas, from which you were to then choose what you wanted to give that person. Not have to follow to a T.

You are surely allowed to feel however you feel. Not meant to diminish your feelings, just providing a different viewpoint on the situation.[/QUOTE]

I totally agree with your point of view. It's a double edge sword. People get upset if people don't put thought into a gift, but if you get handed a list where's the thought in that? If you break it down to the basics, they are just asking you for money (I don't buy the "There's several items on my list so you have choices" routine either).
The more replies I get, the bigger brat I feel...
Ok, my husband is NOT a boob, he just have boobish ideas (as do I at times)... We did talk about it, and he thinks his gift was practical as well as "have you seen the VS commercials" nice. If he sees me as a size 8, then I should be happy... :)

If you ask someone "what do you want for Christmas" and they tell you - then I am assuming that's what they will get (within reason)... If you ask someone for "ideas for what they want", then feel free to deviate... I'm not angry, I think I was just shocked, and hurt..

VS for a gift "just because" - I'm ok with that... we do that with each other (and our kids) year round... but this was special, it's Christmas...

I'm not mad or even sad or hurt anymore... we talked... it's really good... as a matter of fact - my daughter can fit the bras and my assets provide nice fantasy in the panties... AND, after our convo, I did get one of the things on my list!!!
Don't feel bad. I have more clothes than I will ever need. Yet my fiance got me 4 pair of jeans and a pack of underwear. I was hoping for a month or two of phone minutes, but alas, none came. She means well and I am not upset about it, but I prefer man toys and got none.
Nolongerfat, what exactly did you expect to get from your husband for Christmas? Did you give him a list? I do understand why you are so upset because I honestly personally don't think people should give underwear for gifts unless they are lots of other gifts to go with it. I am glad that things are cool now and maybe next year will be better and he will actually take the time to put more effort into the choice of gift he buys for you. Being married for as many years as you he should have had no problem to know what you wanted, especially if you did actually tell him before hand. By the way what did you get him? Did he have any complaints on your gifts?

CVC, you can always use clothes although if you already have more than you need why would she get you even more? Did you tell her what you wanted? What kind of man toys are you talking about? What did you get for her? Did she have any complaints on your gifts? What type of phone do you have that you actually buy minutes ahead of time?


In my experience this year, my fiance asked what I wanted and I told her just to surprise me. She bought me a motorcycle that was a piece of art handmade out of all sort of gadgets, but was really nice. She also bought me one of those really nice remote control helicopters, a laptop, a new ipod, and a new digital/video camera. She really went way out and bought me everything that I really love. In return she had told me the same thing, to surprise her. I really did too. I bought her a diamond/sapphire ring with matching earrings, and necklace. Then of course, we did buy each other new clothes also.
nolongerfat, I don't blame you one bit. I'd be a bit perturbed by this as well. It is just enough to pout over for a day and then move on and let it go.
I - we have moved on and it's sweet. I even put on the little VS panties for him- and he loves it... Michael-studd, you do appear to be quite rich, so good for you. My husband wanted a new motorcycle and he got it. His birthday is in the beginning of December and he turned 50. He got what he wanted, but we had a plan and plenty of time to get it. He also got accessories for bike, phone, etc...

We choose to ask make lists. And of course we can be creative; but we know that UNDERWEAR alone does not a gift make!!!

This has been fun and I thank you all for your comments! Oh yeah, as for my list, I got my iPad!!!!
CVC and Nolongerfat, I never said I got a new motorcycle for Christmas. I said that I got one that is a piece of art. It is one that you set up on a shelf to display and is made out of all sort of gadgets such as paper clips, screws, and etc. It only cost like $30 at a gift shop. The other things my fiance got me came from places such as Ebay and pawn shops. The necklace set that I bought her also came from Ebay. I got a great deal on it. I am not rich from no means. I am a seasonal construction worker and my fiance is an Office Manager. We do the best we can with what we got also.

Nolongerfat, I am glad you got what you wanted and things have moved on.





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