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Relationship Health Message Board

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Break up
Jan 11, 2012
I'm still struggling to get over a bad break up that happened around 4 months ago. He found someone else, a week after he told me he loved me for the first time.

I often don't blame him for breaking up with me. I wasn't a bad girlfriend but I could have been better. My heart was open to a relationship in years and it took a while opening up to him. We were long distance too, which certainly didn't help matters, but I was willing to move for him.

A month after our break up of no contact, I did tell him about moving to be with him but it was too late by then. Bad things were said out of hurt and anger and I went no contact for months.

I tried new hobbies, I made new friends, I travelled - everything you're meant to do to get over someone. But it's not working. Time? I feel like I've been heartbroken and grieving for such a long time, I don't feel able to give it much longer!

I got in touch with him recently to be friends. I know most of you will say that's the worst thing I could do but it isn't. It helps me to be 'civil' and 'friendly' with exs. He's being a little guarded and distant but he's been ok since I told him I had a boyfriend. That's not true but it was to put him at ease. I am going on dates but that's it. My heart isn't open to anyone else.

It still hurts so much. I miss him and our trips.
It didn't even take me this long to get over my first love.

Our relationship wasn't very long, ours was his shortest relationship and probably most insignificant. He's never made me feel like he's really sorry for what happened. He's not contacted me since the break up, it's always been me.

I'm finding it difficult to just let go and move on and I'm not too sure why. I can't possibly wait until I find someone else because I don't meet men who I feel that way about every day or year!

I'm working on the other aspects of my life, planning trips for later this year, trying to get a new job that involves travel etc but it's all taking so long and it's really getting me down. A year ago, I just met my ex. I miss our times together so much.

It seems that this is all that ever happens - I get heartbroken and I struggle for a long time no matter how hard I try to move on.

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