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[QUOTE=pendulum;4918888]But wait a moment: are you positive that you don't have any feelings left for him? Are you worried that something he may do or say will flare those feelings out? Can you share why you broke up? Was there a closure?[/QUOTE]

This is where things get confusing, this was our relationship in a nutshell: I'm someone who has been through some VERY emotionally abusive relationships, in the past they've all ended badly and I ended up having therapy for a lot of them. When I started dating this guy I was very in love with him, but it was different, I was never obsessed, or anxious or anything like that, but our sex life was very bad, he was inexperienced and I think that it really starting killing it for me, but in my old abusive relationships sex was a big part and I kinda felt like since we had bad sex the relationship was dead, so this could have been my mistake, we broke up because I started getting very scared to be intimate with him and it made me super uncomfortable and I just couldn't take the pressure. The problem is that that fear hasn't gone away, I still feel it, when we lay down to watch a movie and I talk to him or something and he rolls around to face me I feel the need to look away from him, because I feel he's too close and could potentially try something, I don't know why that is, maybe I don't like him, but when he's not around I miss and always text/talk to him, I'm soooooo confused, but I just figured things will figure themselves out with time. There was about a month after we broke up that we didn't speak and it was terrible, I would cry and cry about it and when I would go out with friends and guys would wanna hook up I just never could, it was like I knew they weren't as good, why do I feel this way? is something wrong with me? sometimes I feel like a terrible person. I feel like I'm very frightened to even kiss him, it's a nightmare.

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