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I'm currently in a moral dilemma with myself, :dizzy: of what is acceptable in a relationship and how much I should tolerate before leaving my girlfriend. Iíve been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months, Iíve known of her for around 4 years, but only recently got to know her properly in the last 8 months.

She has admitted she has been relationships of which she has been cheated on in the past various times, has had sexual relations for the joy of sex and has had a long distant relationship of which the man would ignore her for weeks on end as she was being over demanding or rude.

I work part time and Iím studying degree of which Iím in my last year, I study from home. My life is extremely busy between studying, my girlfriend, friends and work. My girlfriend lives in the same city as I do.

The situation, I love and care for her very much. We generally get on extremely well as friends, we always have something to talk about and we share alot in common with one another. Were very loved up some of the times, with moments when we canít bear to be apart from one another.
The problem, she is extremely insecure about herself and is verbally abusive to me. Comments include, accusations of me having a secondary girlfriend, despite the fact Iíve never cheated on anyone in my entire life and the prospect of the idea makes me sick inside. She feels that I donít give her enough attention to her, although we are constantly texting one another and I see her at least 3 times a week, we do an array of different activities which include visits to other cities, meals, movies, cooking and generally just enjoying each otherís company. I like to think Iím a supportive boyfriend whom she can turn to for advice, support and strength. It feels sometimes Iím trying to convince myself I must work hard at this relationship in order for it to be successful. The things she says are extremely cruel at times, with complete lack of trust for me, wild accusations and generally rude comments which just make me think why I bother to put up with this level of abuse. Iíve spoken to her about this situation many times, I constantly reassure her that I love her and I wouldnít want to be with anyone else.

As my dilemma is that I really want a future with her, as I really do enjoy spending time with her and I have strong feelings towards her and I canít the stand the idea of losing her. But the arguments are becoming a weekly occurrence, to the point of which it becomes a chore. I always try to deal with a situation as soon as it arrives, unless some time of cool down is required (no more than an hour). Every time I deal with the situation the arguments dissolve and we become loved up and then she will apologies accordingly, even sometimes saying ĎI donít deserve youí of which I reply ĎIím with you because I want to be with you, not because you do or donít deserve meí. Iíve told her plenty of times she must stop these horrid comments as they really do hurt, but she continues to do them for months upon end.

So my overall dilemma is this normal for women to be this insecure? And how much should I tolerate in a relationship? Iíve always had the attitude, the harder I work at something the better the outcome. Or am I just being a silly monkey about her rude behaviour and I should have more of a backbone, as women are always insecure and rude to men? Of which I extremely doubt, my granddad always used to say Ďthe first person who can understand women will be a millionaireí. :D

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