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Hello Everyone
Feb 22, 2012
Hi guys it's my first time on here and I guess i'll get started.

I'm 17, turning 18. Everything has been going well in my life recently, got accepted into a good university, found my true circle of friends, spends time playing sports, games, the average teen stuff. Only until recently this girl I use to LOVE came back and started to talk to me. Everyday. Our history with each other isn't the best but it's definitely of significant value to me. In my heart I think she's the only person I'll ever love and continue loving. Everything about her attracts me. Most of the times i have no sexual desires for her, I just want to hug her, cuddle and call her mine. Two years ago was when this all started. She just transferred from another school to my school for A. her boyfriend and B. she had some issues with gossip and drama. The first day when I saw her, I knew I wanted her and so we started talking and about 2 weeks later, I confessed my feelings for her, hoping that she would have mutual feelings, she merely replied, "You should know." I thought to myself, "ok....." I was completely in the dark. I never knew what she was thinking about, while i thought about her every moment of my spare time. I always started the messages and calls. For god sake's i wrote notes and poems and drew pictures of hearts with our names in it. I was deeply in love. Sometime later, she ended things with her boyfriend and even though she said that she broke up with her boyfriend for me, I don't really believe her, but what can i do? So we kept at it, our "relationship" or whatever we had for another 6 months, then summer came. I still initiated all the conversations, she knew how I felt, she just seemed like she didn't really care, but she always says lovee you, blows me kisses, gives me that look. One time we went to a party and I almost kissed her, but I told myself that I was more than that, maybe I'm just a coward. Then, two weeks later of that party, she starts to date this other guy, and that completely threw me off. I never saw this coming, I stopped talking to her and vise versa, we just cut all our ties with each other.

Now suddenly, just only a week after she broke up with this recent boyfriend of hers, she starts to talk to me, always says hi first, but doesn't really reply to my texts. She talks to me about a lot of personal issues with her family or with her ex's. We have skype or cell phone calls everyday for the past 3 weeks from 10-2 or 3 then one of us falls asleep. Now though, I feel like the same idiot as before, giving her all I have while not really receiving it in return. I get jealous really really easily and all I ever want is for her to be loyal but I never feel like I'm the only one as opposed to I put her on top of everything. I really don't know how she feels and don't know what to do. I've talked to two bestfriends of mine, one a girl and one a boy. I just want to get some opinions from the people here. I've read a lot of the forum posts and all of you guys seem extremely caring and truly want to help.

Another thing is that in my true circle of friends, there's this other girl. Her personality is everything I can and ever will ask for, but she just isn't the other one. I talk to this girl for everything, my problems, except about the other girl, and my interests, school. She's extremely intelligent, we share the same taste in movies, music but I really just don't see myself doing romantic things with her. I have considered asking this girl out because i know that she'll be loyal, but my girl bestfriend said that I might seem selfish and only use her to get the other girl out of my head. I really can't think straight anymore.

I apologize for my grammar and long post. This has been a very frustrating issue and I need to vent it out.

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