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Hi everyone.
I've posted on here before about my relationship. I need advice again.

Basic background.
Got divorced last year after separating from my husband. Very amicable split and we are friends. Have 2 boys and there's no problems there.
Started dating my boyfriend a year ago. I known him for a few years as we work together. Weve had an amazing 12 months but now we have some problems.

Before me he was having an affair with a married woman from work. She's not a very nice person and she was having numerous othe affairs whilst she was seeing my bf. She ended it with him 3 years ago.
When we got together he assured me there was no unfinished business. She started texting him tho and it caused problems. He changed his number and blocked her on Facebook.

Then 6 mths in he admitted he wasn't over the affair. I was angry but he assured me he loved me and we agreed to sick together and work at it.
All seemed good till a month ago. When he admitted he had an obsession with the affair. He says he's nit obsessed with her but he was finding it hard to get over.

After some time apart we agreed to stay together. But I'm struggling. He says I'm the one! He loves me! And he wants to build a future with me. Something he has never felt before. But it feels awkward to me. I need constant reassurance and it's getting on his nerves.
All through my marriage I was never jealous of anyone. It's never been in my mature before. But now I see everyone including this woman as a potential threat. I feel inadequate and I'm constantly looking for problems. And this gets him down too.
I'm killing our relationship with my worries.
He says that I should know he loves me and that's all that should matter but it doesn't work that way for me.
I need to feel wanted and that I'm the only woman in his world. Is that totally insecure of me?
I ended it with him last night but within 2 hours we were back together.
During our row he told me that we see too much of each other and he needs space to focus on his hobbies (he makes music and paints) I thought we spent the right amount of time together.
We don't live together and hardly see each other at work. We spend about 3 nights a week together. Apparently this is too much.
Previous to all this I would have relished time apart cos I like to see my friends too but knowing he has issues with his past makes me need to see him more. I suppose I need reassurance now more than I ever have. He feels like he's walking in egg shells with me.
I have taken his resist to see less of each other as a subtle hint that he's not as in to this relationship as I am.

Please be honest. Am I being too needy? Or am I within my rights to say 'yeah I need you around more at the moment since you told me this stuff'.
I've never felt so confused in my life. I love him dearly and I know he loves me but honestly, am I flogging a dead horse here?

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