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hi guys...
its been a while since ive posted a thread on this place and i guess because i thought i was coping well when actually ive been having the hardest time of my life.
I know its seems like the same situation over and over again for a lot of us complaining or finding it very hard with our partners etc but i think for me...this is the most difficult of all.
Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 14 months...and i just feel like things are never ever gna get better. he has the worst anger problem i have ever known anyone to have...and its come to a point where i need to let go but im absolutely terrified of the repurcussions.
all he has seemed to do lately is just invade my confidence and self esteem and try to destruct it by firstly...saying that i need t lose wight..concerning mostly my ''behind''. Now this might be crazy..becasue im a healthy eater go gym 3/4 times a week and have lost weight and maintained my lifestyle quite well and am a size 12 where im quite built. He has always hated me doing boxing which i love the most...apparently my cardio workouts have made me put on me weight and all this rubbish palava that is meant to make me feel insecure. rest assure i am a confident girl. but there is no talking or explaining anything to this guy anymore. at all. i have tried all ways possible and nothing works. we always argue...i have eczema on my arms quite bad when im stressed and recently now on my eyelid which has come from crying quite a bit and now stress.,..but he has recently screwed at me for saying it looks horrible and im not doing anything about it which is why he has gotten really angry. the worst thing is i know my body and my stress levels enough without anyone having to tell me what to do and how to do it with losing weight and everything its just ridiculous. this guys shows no concern anymore....and its all about what he thinks is right and wrong.
Ive tollerated more than i can and to be honest im at breaking point. i cant talk to my mum about it because i dont feel this relationship is hardly steady for me to even tell her i have a bf. but moreover...i finish uni this year and i will get asked if im with someone or not.
this is where it gets worse...i have tried to leave him and explain i am not happy no more....but he has never been the type to say he wants to break up. its always been me to say it. and his mum has been ill for about a month now only to have found out 3 days ago she has cancer...unknown for a week whether its terminal or not.
He says he needs me...ok i understand that and i always will be because no one in any state shud ever hav to go thru this alone...but hes taken almost everything out of me....and some of it which is deliberate such as weight and eczema...its not even weight...its just my ass...and im sooo certain ive been blessed with bad luck where sumone after a whole year cannot accept me for who and what i am anymore. its like he woke up one day and decided to say all of this. im sure i dont wanna marry sumone who is like friends have told me and seen how he has been with me...u can cut the tension in a library at uni between us with a needle....but with the mum and cancer issues...i dunno what to to in my last 2 months of uni and i dont wanna mess up at all.

im mad at myself because i was always an independent girl and still am...but i was always firm in knowin i didnt need a relationship yet..i guess no one can chance anything...but im mad at myself for letting it get this far and i have no idea how to take control of it.
any sort of guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for takin the time to read this.
Hi my daughter who is 22 is going through the same thing. She has lived off and on with her bf for 3 years. She has 2 kids with him, a boy 3 and a girl 11 months. He is physically and verbally abusive. He is a heavey user of booze, which causes hime to be violent. She and the kids are staying with me for the time being. We went to DHS today and she is getting help so she can leave this situation.

You need to break up with this guy, for your safty, get a restraining order, and if you have to move where he can't find you. Sounds like you are in a dangerous situation.

The big problem with people with anger issues it esclates quickly. He will eventually resort to physical violence, I do not want to see you in that situation. Please keep us posted, and end this relationship. Good Luck.

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