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Hi, I am hoping for some honest input here. I have been dating a man for over a year. He moved in 4 months ago and doesn't contribute to any of the household expenses.

Here are some of the facts. He has a 22 year old son and an 20 year old son. 1 lives at college and the other lives in his old apartment with his girlfriend and baby. My bf supports them by paying all of their bills. They both work but he wanted to give them a head start by helping them out. Well, neither my bf ex-wife or the girls parent pay anything. In additional, the son and girlfriend he is supporting both work, they go out etc.

My bf also makes less than me. When we started discussing money, this was after he moved in, he doesn't think it's fair to split things 50/50 because he makes less. He said I would make out because I would have more money to put away if he pays 1/2 of the expeneses. I said you are using 1/2 of everything so you should be contributing. He said he isn't gaining anything by moving in and I would. He EXPECTED to gain $$ by moving in while supporting his grown child at my expense??

So, in a effort to be equitable, I said let's split the expenses 60/40. He says he can't affort anything now until the "kids" are on there own. They go out for dinner, buy liquor, and spent $700 on an Iphone. I said that is out of control and he needs to make them responsible adults, his friends also told him that he needed to have them pay for themselves. He finally asked them to pay the food bill, that's it. In the meantime I pay for all of the food, utilities, mortagage etc.

Last week he got a bonus and we booked a vacation which we are splitting 50/50. I booked it and he was going to give me the $ after the bonus check cleared because he didn't have the $ now. I asked how much did he have in the bank, he said he didn't know and would check. Later that same night he said he went to the bank to deposit the check. I said how was your balance, he had over $3,000 not including the bonus! This is after he paid his kids rent, utilities and his own credit card bill. I was livid! He said to me " did you think I was holding out on you"...I wanted to scream YES!!!

I don't get how he had close to 4,000 in the bank every month (this is after his own bills and kids bills were paid) and he had the nerve to tell me he couldn't afford to even help with our food bill. He doesn't think $4,000 is alot to have in the bank and doesn't want to go below that, well I have to because I am picking up all of the expenses.

A few more things. He has picked up the check only 2 or 3 times when we have gone out. Either we split or I pay it all. I have no issue splitting. I just would think that since I pay for everything else he would pick up the bill when we went out.

Also, he is getting a big tax refund. He said he is giving $500 of that to his other son. Made no mention of taking some of it to contribute for the past 5 months with me.

I need help here. Is he taking advantage of me. Are my expectations too high. Am I wrong about his financial support of adult children who work themselves is ridiculous? I just think he has been taking advantage of me.

Advice please!





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