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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Background: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. We're in our early-mid twenties, and at the moment both of us live at home. He has never moved out, I lived on my own for 2 years before having to swallow my pride and move back in with my dad to save up for laser eye surgery, which is required for the career I want.

I work for a relatively low wage doing night shifts in a vet clinic, Boyfriend is a stock broker who has an income that is almost double mine and is poised to go up even higher soon, along with having a LARGE amount of money in stock and other assets (won't give exact numbers, but when I did the math, he could easily pay full rent on place in our expensive city for five years and still have a fair amount of coin left over just from the money he's got saved.)

Due to the career I want and living with my dad (who is an hour outside of town), most of my day is spent training my *** off physically, working, sleeping or commuting to and from the gym and work. It's getting to the point where I have to choose between spending time with Boyfriend or training, because of the distance. Since we've been together for a fair chunk of time and we get along very well, my thought was now might be a good time to move in together, so I didn't have to go 1-2 weeks without seeing him at a time.

Boyfriend says he's not ready. That he doesn't have enough "saved up". (This point alone pisses me off when he says it, because I did very respectably for myself living on my own on a [I]FRACTION[/I] of what he makes AND I was able to save money, albeit not enough for an expensive surgery like lasic.) He likes living at home. Everything's done for him. He has a car and I don't. I'm not interested in him providing for me, or s*** like that. I just am super angry that he's claiming that he can't afford to move out. While I don't have problems letting him pay for dates and dinners, I pay my own bills, my own tuition and I am determined to always be able to support myself from my own career.

Since I don't see him for a week or more at a time, I spend more time irritated with him over this than I do wanting to be around him. Though when I actually see him, he's such a sweetheart that I forget why I'm irritated with him until I leave his presence.

Half of me just wants to dump him, due to the frustration. I've tried talking to him about it multiple times, but his position is unchanging: He doesn't make enough money to even CONSIDER moving out. Half of me knows that he's such a sweet man that I'd be stupid to let him go. But I don't know how much more of the frustration I can take - I was ready to live with him starting a year ago, but I kept my mouth shut because I knew what his reactions would be.

Is he being nuts? Should I break up with him and just focus on my career?





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