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Relationship Health Message Board

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Apr 23, 2012
Hi all,

I posted awhile back and got some great insight from everyone, I am hoping to tap into all of your thoughts again.

My boyfriend has two sons and divorced their mother 16 years ago.
His best friend is his ex-brother in law. His best friend is married to my boyfriends ex-wife's sister.

Anytime we go over there is a chance that his ex-wife or ex-mother or father in law could be there. I find this hard to deal with.

Until he moved in with me his lived in an apartment with his two grown sons (ages 20 and 22) not even 5 minutes from his ex-wife. He even gave her a key to the apartment.

I did write about this part a little before, she always used to ask him for hugs when she stopped by to pick up their grandson. At one point she was separated from her current husband and lived with my boyfriend's best friend and his wife, who is her sister. My boyfriend would go over to watch football/baseball/ hangout and she was always there! I find all of this very odd!

She moved back in with her current husband sometime last year, but still continued to ask my boyfriend for hugs, call him just to chat (not about their grown sons) etc.

Any events, like his son is graduating in early man, are always at my boyfriends best friends house, which means his ex-wife is always there.

I understand that went on because they both had apartments and his best friend had a house, but now we have a house and I feel these events should be shifted to our house. He agrees, but wanted me to still invite her! I said NO, she should have something for the kids with her family. He thinks this is all natural. I don't invite, nor would I, my ex-husband or his parents to events for my daughter, her dad has his own parties etc for her.

I understand some incidental contact between my boyfriend and ex-wife but their relationship is odd, and him wanting me to invite her is inappropriate to me.

The other choice is to continue to have the events at his best friend's house and I would be stuck with his ex-wife and all of his ex-inlaws.

Is it me? Isn't this a lot to ask someone to deal with?

Any advice would be appreciated.

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