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a boy i went to high school with hates me so much. i am 24 now and havent seen this kid in years. i barely knew him in high school. he has no reason to hate me. i was unpopular and bullied. i was made fun of for having horrible acne and being flat chested. i was teased daily. i never fit in and didnt have many friends.

the low self esteem from this plus from my abusive family led me to very self destructive behaviors like being very promiscuous and take nude photos and videos of myself and give them to my boyfriends. boys never liked me much in highschool and after so i would just give it up to whoever showed attention even if it was just to get some from me. by the time i was 20 i felt so bad about myself i was dating a guy who had a daughter and was clearly cheating on me. to me he was very attractive and said all the right things i wanted to hear. for the first time in my life i felt wanted beautiful and loved. i had a lot of emotional baggage already from my family who treated me like garbage, the resturaunt i was forced to work in to survive where i was treated like garbage by my boss and coworkers ( i was humiliated and made fun of always, even in front of customers) and i had gotton out of two bad relationships, the second one raped me so when i met this guy i thought he was gonna save my life i fell in love. i let him make videos of us having sex and take lots of nude photos of me. eventually i discovered he was cheating on me and he left me for another girl. he left me with no money and nowhere to live so i was forced to work extra hard at the resturaunt where i was cheated like garbage.

the kid i mentioned earlier who hates me for no reason made a fake screen name pretending to be a female and somehow got my ex to send him a lot of videos and photos of me having sex or naked. after he got these photos and videos he posted them on about 20 different websites titling the videos with my first and last name and city. he even made fake facebook accounts and send the photos and videos to my friends family and coworkers.

ill never forget the day i was at work, another day in this resturaunt being treated like crap and yelled at and called names, when some regular customers came in, some rude ignorant little 15 year old boys. and they showed and told a lot of my coworkers the videos and pics of me they had found on the internet. everyone was laughing at me. calling me a lot of bad names. i made these videos and photos for my boyfriend, no one else. and now the whole world was seeing them.

i constantly email all these websites asking to have my videos/photos taken down. at first they wouldnt remove them. i had to lie and say i was underage for them to remove them. as fast as i have them removed, they are uploaded to other websites again and again and again. and constantly he makes fake facebook accounts and sends them to my friends and family. i got the police involved and spoke to a detective but they did nothing. they told me theres nothing they can do.

its a long story how i figured out it was this kid i knew in high school who got these pics and videos of me from my ex by pretending to be a female and then after getting them putting them on websites and sending them to everyone i know. i dont know why this kid hates me so much. i never knew him at all. he was in honor classes, i was cutting classes i had bad grades i was unpopular and called A-Cup and Crater-face ( flat chested with lots of acne and acne scars ) boys didnt like me i hardly had any friends so this kid has no reason to hate me. i can understand him hating me in high school maybe he thought i was ugly and pathetic but to still hate me now is just unbeleivable. all he has put me threw is ridiculous. everyone i know plus 1000+ strangers have seen me naked and having sex in videos. i am so ashamed. it added to the stress i have already had in my life. ive been abused, raped, made fun of, beat by men, my own mother would rather me be homeless then take me in, she never wanted me around because i didnt get along with her boyfriend. then when he burnt her house down with her, my brother, grandma, and uncle inside who all barely escaped and lost eveyrthing, she still has never apologized for putting him before me and she still treats me like dirt for no reason. a year and a half ago i found my deadbeat alcoholic father dead in his apartment. so this is all to stressfull for me i have had a tough life and i am only now starting to relize why i dont fit in and why i dont relate to anyone. because ive been threw hell and no one else has. everyone else had a family and friends i never had anyone.

why does this kid i barely know hate me so much? why does he constantly send these photos and videos of me to my friends and family and post them on different websites? is he just so miserable with his own life that controlling and ruining mine makes him feel good about himself? how could anyone possibly hate someone so much to do this to them?

any comments from anyone would be nice. im trying to feel better about my pathetic excuse for a life. since i cant be in therapy right now i feel like getting my thoughts out to someone will help me. i have no one to talk to, even strangers on a health website listening will make me feel better.

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