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Relationship Health Message Board

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Marriage Problems.
Jun 3, 2012
I've been married to my husband for a year and a half. We got married soon after meeting. I love him to death. I've been in abusive relationships in the past, giving me insecurities and lack of trust. My husband has never given me reason that I should not trust him. His group of friends is friends with his ex, who he had kept a love letter from (which I happened to find). He has stopped hanging out with these friends, because his ex is always with them. I have had dreams about him cheating, and being with her. He has stated that if I continue to get depressed and feel insecure, the relationship will not last. I'm to a point where I am terrified of losing someone who has become such a huge part of my life. Imagining life without him scares me more than anything. I need to fix myself. I need help to not be insecure about his friends, his ex, and myself. Past relationships have made me feel like I am fat, ugly, and for a while bipolar.
I asked my husband for help, he responded with not knowing how to. I told him to tell me I'm beautiful, and he loves me everyday. And when he does go out with friends, let me know where hes at. Just so I know. I'm not the type of person to show up, but he seems to think I am. After telling him how he can help, he said it was stupid. And he doesn't need to tell me where he is. And if I feel fat I should work out and I didn't need his help for my insecurities.

I guess what I need help with is, how can my husband help me become less or not insecure? And how can I get past him possibly hanging out with his ex(who has a bf) when with his friends? Going with him is not an option. I don't like his friends. They do not include me in the conversation (language barrier).

Please help me. I cannot let my marriage fall to pieces.

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