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Thank you for your reply.

The problem is, I've been away from England for 2 years and my friends all live in London. I live over 4 hours away and feel like I don't have a life in Canada or England. I don't feel like either country is pulling me more than the other. I am drawn to return to Canada because it's what I am familiar with and London (UK) scares me a bit (i don't particularly like the city but would move there for the opportunities and the fact I have contacts there). But then if I moved to Canada, I'd be without family and for some reason, I find living in Toronto a really hard place to make friends..and also, not having more than 2 weeks vacation a year would be tough..I don't want to waste my life and make the wrong decision but I think not deciding is making me waste my life even more because I'm not living..i'm just in limbo.

In terms of my boyfriend, it's just so hard. He'd been to England twice in 2 years and loves it. He's currently studying to be a paramedic and so he can't really move here..he's staying in Canada for the long-term with the course he's doing and I respect that. It's always been me and my emotions that have really made our relationship unhappy. I expected him to be more romantic, more adventerous, more spontaneous.. but i love him for who he is as well and for always being there for me. I guess I just feel that at 24, i need to look at who I'm in a romantic relationship with in terms of whether I can imagine being with them when I'm older. I hate to compare, but my first proper love, i could imagine being with forever..but with my current partner, there's something that thinks that I'll get bored with him not communicating and having the same interests as me.

I now realise I looked to him to be my everything when I lived in Canada. I now know that it's not healthy and would like to think that I could get my excitement from other areas of my life.. but then I get scared that maybe I'm settling and worry that I'll never find that 'great love.'

I feel so torn and just have no idea what to do. I have the opportunity to go back and visit my boyfriend in summer and I don't know whether it would be a good idea or not. I don't want to make things worse but think it might also put things into perspective...





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