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I really need some advice..

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He's Canadian and I am British. Him 29, me 24. We met after I'd been in Canada for 2 months and looking back now, I was really lonely after moving to a new country at the age of just 21, and feel that's why I jumped into our relationship so seriously, so quickly. I'd graduated from Uni and just wanted to explore and do something a bit different. After only a few months, he'd moved in with me and we were already telling each other we loved each other (which we did, but still, we both knew it was quick). The first summer of us being together wasn't exactly the happiest time of my life and he had issues with working out if he loved me or not,(even after telling me), him feeling confused and just generally not knowing how to treat a girl (he'd only been with 1 girl before me). Everything seemed to be very difficult and looking back now, our relationship has always required effort..mostly on my part, trying to get him to communicate, be honest, romantic.. it was often like trying to get blood out of stone to try and get him to talk to me about how he was feeling and that just frustrated the hell out of me because I am so direct and honest.

For 2 years, we were almost inseparable. But not in terms of doing things I liked, just staying in, watching tv, playing video games. He is an introvert and I think I let myself become boring and introverted like him. I avoided going out with friends and everything became such an effort. At first, our sex life was amazing - a lot of sexual attraction..but after a while, as we started to become too comfortable with each other, the sex became less and less frequent. I started seeing him as a friend even though we both loved each other deeply. He's always been there for me and repeatedly says to me that all he wants to do is to make me happy. The issue has almost always been me and not knowing if he was the one for me.. he's lovely but I wonder whether I need to be with someone that is a bit more adventurous like me..

Fast forward to this year and I had to leave Canada because my visa expired and I am now in England. When I left Canada, him and I had kind of come to an agreement that it was for the best, because we'd both accepted that the relationship wasn't making me happy and I was wanting to be a with a guy that could at least be romantic every now and then (i had to basically ask him to buy me anything for my birthday or valentines day). I know not all men are romantic but I want to be made to feel special and my boyfriend just never did that.. Since coming back to the UK, we've spoken on skype almost every night and it's been so hard. For the first month, i just wanted to jump on a plane and go back to Canada, but now, just over 2 months since I landed, i've been realising that I really can't just be in limbo and not get on with my life, because I can't figure out what to do. I'm staying with my mum and it's driving me a bit mad. I can't take a permanent job so I'm working temporarily which isn't adding much to my work experience.

My boyfriend is sponsoring me to become a permanent resident of Canada and if it goes through, i could go back there to live in around 3 months. I'm really torn to know what to do as my boyfriend is my best friend and i can't imagine being with anyone else. I'm most happiest when I'm with him just watching tv or being lazy, or cooking a new meal. But when we were together, i neglected me and my life and my friends, which meant i had no friends. I found living in another country so hard and i really lacked having a happy life.

My friends are all wanting me to move to London in England.. but that would mean really giving up on my boyfriend and I'm so scared I'll make a wrong decision. My boyfriend wants me to move back to Canada but says he feels unsure about the likelihood of us staying together if I'm not going to be truly happy in Canada. The problem is, I love adventure and feel like moving to London, UK is a safe option. I really have to idea how to separate the two issues - not knowing which country to live in vs. my boyfriend.

I know that my situation is quite unique and complicated, but any advice would be much appreciated. Another issue is that I've always felt that it was me giving up my family, friends, life in England and he just got to do what he wanted - stay in his home country, start a course to be a paramedic..

When I read this whole post, it seems to be very negative..and I know everyone will tell me to follow my instincts, but it's so hard and i just don't know how to separate it all into different things to tackle and work out. if me and him won't be together, the thought of not seeing him kills me as he's my best friend. How do people overcome this?





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