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Hi all,

This post is in reference to a summer job my girlfriend of 2 years has, and I'd appreciate any input you might have on what you make of it.

She is a 22 years-old, just finished her junior year in college. She lives and studies in a country in Europe (I'll keep some information secret for the sake of privacy), and her job is on an island in the US.

Her employer is an elderly lady that owns a museum there, and she got in contact with her through a friend of hers that worked part-time in the museum a previous summer.

The job itself is fairly easy - she helps with stuff relating to the museum - setting up the pieces, greeting guests, etc - but mostly just keeps her employer company. (Her employer is there during her shifts.) What I'm worried about is the following. She is living there in a house, where her employer lives. The house is fairly extravagant - her room is huge, filled with expensive furniture and all. On top of that, her employer cooks for her and invites her to dinners with her very often.

I know a lot of people who have summer jobs on this same place, and they usually provide lodging for themselves (like 6 people live in one apartment because it's very expensive), and the employers are never this nice and close with their employees. This has also been going on since when she arrived there - so it's not like she made friends with her and/or is really good at her job. Actually from what I'm gathering, most of her job could be done by her employer too. Most of the time she just chats with the elderly lady while waiting for guests.

On top of this, the employer's nephew is helping out this summer (he apparently quite his real job in his home country and sold his home there, and isn't sure what he's going to be doing in life..). He is a 30ish-year-old guy (fairly good looking), who lives at the same house as my girlfriend (albeit a different floor), and always attends these meals my girlfriend's employer makes (since he lives in the same house). My girlfriend's shifts also overlap with his significantly.

I'm afraid I'm being paranoid, but this is all a bit fishy for me. The employer seems to nice, her job doesn't require a lot of work, but she's being pampered and treated like a queen, and there is the issue of the nephew..
Any thoughts here, or am I just being paranoid, and I should be happy that she lucked out with her job? Also, any thoughts on how to handle this on my end?

Best,
--Asterisk
[QUOTE=Asterisk;5001296]The matchmaking is exactly my fear, and I don't know how to handle it... Whenever I try to point the possibility out I come off as paranoid/insecure/jealous, and if something of the kind *is* going on, I have no way of fighting it. She sees him 4-5 hours a day during working hours, and we chat for like 1/2 hour due to her working hours. I fear that this might put me on the backburner and I may lose her. (Not to mention her living conditions there are probably quite tantalizing.)[/QUOTE]

The question you need to ask yourself is how strong is your relationship with your girlfriend? There's no mention of that so it's impossible to tell if your suspicions are right. Based on what you wrote though, you do appear to be paranoid/insecure/jealous.

The reason why I say that is because you don't seem to trust your girlfriend enough to be out in the world alone without you being there to watch what she does or if someone tries to pick up on her. Let me tell you first hand, you will never be able to do that and be happy with your relationship much less yourself. Why would you want to anyways?

You have to trust her and your relationship that it can endure these types of situations. If not, then you need to either find someone you can or just be miserable wondering all of the time.

My wife gets a lot of attention where ever she goes (sometimes right in front of me). I could worry about it constantly and try to keep her locked up but I don't. I trust her and our commitment to each other. I also know she picked me for a reason even though she could have easily picked someone else. You might say that it's because we're married, but cheating occurs regardless and even before we were married we felt the same way.
[QUOTE=baffomet;5001484]The question you need to ask yourself is how strong is your relationship with your girlfriend? There's no mention of that so it's impossible to tell if your suspicions are right. Based on what you wrote though, you do appear to be paranoid/insecure/jealous.

The reason why I say that is because you don't seem to trust your girlfriend enough to be out in the world alone without you being there to watch what she does or if someone tries to pick up on her. Let me tell you first hand, you will never be able to do that and be happy with your relationship much less yourself. Why would you want to anyways?

You have to trust her and your relationship that it can endure these types of situations. If not, then you need to either find someone you can or just be miserable wondering all of the time.

My wife gets a lot of attention where ever she goes (sometimes right in front of me). I could worry about it constantly and try to keep her locked up but I don't. I trust her and our commitment to each other. I also know she picked me for a reason even though she could have easily picked someone else. You might say that it's because we're married, but cheating occurs regardless and even before we were married we felt the same way.[/QUOTE]

Our relationship is quite strong and glitch-free so far, but the fact remains that she's spending 5-6 hrs a day in a room with the guy, and it's easy to start developing feelings for someone when you are spending that much time together, and touching base with your boyfriend for 1/2 hour max.





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