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Relationship Health Message Board


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First of all I will give some background history my side first then my partner (well ex partner).

I am 50 years old have two children one is still with me she is 11 my son is 26 and does not live with me anymore. I was in a loveless relationship for 13 years and always planned on leaving when my daughter was older, last year nearly to the day I starting speaking to someone I knew from my childhood, this was via a social networking site, we got on really well and he suggested meeting up, we met up and thing progressed very rapidly, i ended up leaving my partner of 13 years and buying my own house thinking the new love was going to be a lasting lovely relationship.

His story was he had been in a relationship for 20 years and had two children with his partner, age 19 and 16, this had been a relationship similar to mine and he told me he had not had sex for 3 years and his partner had had an affair and moved out of their home 10 years previously, he tried to continue some sort of relationship with her and his children and visited them daily, his partner had mental health issues and would never say she loved him, at the beginning of last year both her and their daughter told him not to come round anymore so he left and never went back, he tried in vain to contact them via phone and text messages but these were totally ignored. he was on his own for about 4 months before striking up a friendship/relationship with me.

Fast forward to February this year, we were ticking along nicely taking it slow and i knew he loved me deeply, then he got a call from his ex partner saying her dad had died and so communication was opened up and he is visiting his daughter again after not seeing her for a year, (she didn't want any contact)
this meant I was left hanging and his communication to me was not dropped but certainly not to the extent it had been. By the way this guy lives 3 hours away from me so I don't know what is really going on down there. He now is in a state of guilt and says he cant be with me anymore because he is hurting too many people, he says he still loves me, I asked is he was in love with me still he says he is in denial but cant be with anyone. I have tried to get answers but I am getting nowhere fast. The thing is I said OK so if that is how you feel I think we should have no contact, give him space and me, but he keeps texting me saying he will always love me and he misses me.

I just don't know what to think anymore, I would love him to be with me and he knows all this but he just cant commit. He want to meet me one last time to say goodbye and I am not sure if this is a good idea, I cant be friends anymore it is just too painful. his ex partner has mental health problems and tried to kill herself earlier this year, she is now getting treatment for this.

I just don't know what to think anymore, but I do still love him just cant do the friends thing he wants so much. please help I am going out of my head with frustration.





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