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Relationship Health Message Board

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Tatooed, I disagree with you. (I'm not trying to start a fight, and there is no hostility here.) But even when you're 100% satisfied with your partner, you're still going to look at other people. It is literally ENCODED INTO A MANS BRAIN. They like to look at other women. My boyfriend would not cheat on me if someone had a gun to his head. He looks at other women all the time. Do I care? NO! It was a bit hard to get over at first, but the second I did was the second that he found me more attractive. Someone like...a stripper or a porn star is nice to look at for 20 minutes. Unfortunately, that's all that they have to offer, and no one is going ot want to MARRY a porn star. If you're dating someone that can't control their sexual instincts enough to not cheat on you, then maybe that's a reason to look somewhere else.

A fact that a lot of you need to know, is that men often masturbate. They do this with the aid of porn. It's natural for them, because their body is telling them to clear away the old semen, so that the next time that they have intercourse with you, they're more likely to produce offspring. There body is TELLING them to do this. You can ask a happy married man why he sneaks off to the bathroom to masturbate, and he couldn't tell you why. Even if you are READY and WILLING to help them - they will still do it. Escpecially if they have a high sex drive. It's a natural thing, and pressuring them about something that they can't help is only going to put strain on your relatinoship.

Like I said before. Sexy is 80% attitude. THe second you let him know that you feel intimidated by another female, is the second that she becomes more attractive than you. Ignore it, they're going ot do it. Smile and pretend that you don't notice. The more insecure that you are, the more that he's going to focus on other girls. Don't TALK with him about looking at pics of his ex, or some random friend. Let him do whatever he wants. If you want to get him to pay attention to you, then stop throwing a hissy fit every time he looks at other girls.

If you're at a restaurant and a girl who's a 6/10 walks by you have two choices. 1) Get jealous and glare at him as he checks her out 2) Pretend she doesn't even exist, let him look. Guess which option makes him more attracted to you? 2!!! Let her walk by and swing her hips and try to catch his eye. So what if she succeeds. She gets his attention for 10 seconds, whoopty freaking doo?!? You're the one going home with him. You have to trust him and you have to KNOW that you're the person he finds more attractive, or he wouldn't be with you.

You have to let him have his freedom. If he wants to look, then he can look. He's not your pawn to control. You don't get to pick and choose what he does. I used to be a VERY jealous women and I enveutally learned what I am telling you.

My boyfriend rarely looks at girls and points them out anymore. If he points them out to me I say "Yeah she's pretty!" and move on with my life. He now tells me that I am perfect and beautiful all the time, and a few days ago he told me that he feels closer to me than ever! Occasionally when I see a hot guy my boyfriend notices IMMEDIATELY that I'm looking at him and tells me he caught me looking and I say "well he was hot!" and then my boyfriend is the one who is saying "WOW WELL HIS NOSE IS KIND OF WEIRD, AND HIS SHOULDERS WEREN'T EVEN THAT NICE, AND HIS HAIR SUCKED." Either way, I really don't care. I think it's cute! It's our immediate reaction to defend ourselves and compare ourselves to people that other people say are attractive. You just need to learn how to conquer your immediate reaction. Relationships aren't all about looks, and you need to be secure with yourself if you want to keep things good.

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