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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Jul 9, 2012
Hi...this is the first posting for me so not sure where it'll get me but hoping for support.
So my boyfriend of over a year has MAJOR anger management issues, along with deep routed family issues (dad, mom, sister, grandparent - you name it!). It brings him down and he does complain more then one should or would. By nature, I am a very empathetic, understanding person who is grounded, strong and loving. I was able to give him advise over the year...although he would listen, no action was taken to better understand himself and be more self aware of his complaints and soon enough he'd be back in his usual cycle of poor me, poor me and that really gets old fast.
I was able to handle it and brush it off earlier in our relationship, but now we are living together and he is constantly under pressure with work so it's been a little bit of a nightmare lately. A couple weeks ago he came home and got mad at the world and ended up trashing our apartment by breaking anything he could and kicked me out of the house and told me he can't be in a relationship (and that's not the first time he's said that one).
I finally got mad and am living part time somewhere else. I have told him for me to be back full time he needs to get professional help for his anger and depression. Because he's unhappy I am unhappy around him and I am worried about our future together with his volatile nature. I do love him very much and am giving him a chance but he just isn't getting it. I am constantly second guessing myself and every time I speak to him I cry because I am sad about the whole thing.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom or strength for me? I've never given anyone an ultimatum like this and am unsure of how long I should drag it out.
Thanks for anything you can give.

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