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Is love at first sight real?

This is a question I never spent much time thinking about before, until last fall when a new co-worker came in to the office and looked at me for the first time. It was one of the most intense moments of my life: I felt breathless; completely consumed by this new person who seemed just as moved to see me as I was to see him.

Ever since that moment, I've worked hard to get him out of my mind, because I'm engaged to someone else and so is he.

The problem is that I don't know if I'll ever be able to truly forget him, and even if I do, I can't erase the memory of that moment when I saw him for the first time and "the one" seemed to flash before my eyes. We haven't really spent much time talking since I pretty much can't even speak around him (I initially felt like I was going into shock when we were in the same room), and a few months have passed so I think he has written me off as shy/awkward. What a surprise! We both avoid looking at each other whenever we cross paths now vs. the first few weeks when I could feel him watching me all the time and I would (not so subtly) make excuses to walk by his office to "talk to my co-worker" just to catch a glimpse of him. It's honestly embarrassing to think about at this point, but I can only say that there was a time when we looked at each with real longing almost every day, but never acted on it.

Sometimes I feel like I would do anything to go back in time and erase the moment I saw this man for the first time, because even knowing that it's possible to have such strong feelings for someone while I'm in love with another person is very disturbing to me. At other moments, I wish I had the courage to just tell him how I feel, so that I could know for certain that I did everything I could to figure this out. I mean, what if this guy is my soulmate? But I can't do that to my fiancee, and I don't want to hurt the person he's with, either.

So, has anyone else ever experienced something like this? Is it possible to get over it? Does time really heal all wounds? He's getting married this weekend and it hurts me to think about it for some reason. How can I feel like I'm in love with someone I barely know? I've considered the whole love vs. lust thing but I've never experienced anything nearly on this level before. I am a very loyal girlfriend and feel guilty that I still harbor these strange feelings towards someone who is essentially a stranger to me. I know I would be very upset if my fiancee had these feelings about someone else.

Any insight is appreciated. Thank you!

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