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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hey guys,
Four months ago I met a girl at uni. At first I didn't think it would go anywhere, but then I realised we had heaps in common, we had similar personalities and both of us had never been in a relationship. We were and still are both 18 and had similar experiences in high school of being shy and never having any luck with the opposite sex. We have been dating for three months now.

At first I was so excited. Actually having a girlfriend after waiting for so long. It seemed perfect when I found out that we were both each others first kiss. As time progressed, I realised that she was much more shy and self conscious than I was. Uni (College) had made me much more confident and people were finally seeing that I was a fun and sporty person which people in high school did not see as they considered me to be a nerd. Things were going really well for ages. I told her I love her about 2 weeks ago but I'm not sure if what I said was the truth. My girlfriend is the most kind, polite, generous and caring person I have ever met. I really do like her, but lately I have been thinking really hard and wonder if this is the girl I really want to be with for a long time. If this is the girl I want to marry. I have found that she is just too boring and uptight for me to feel completely comfortable in the relationship. Sometimes I find it really hard to keep a conversation going wth her as she is quite shy. She almost never drinks and I think that she has only been going to Uni events and parties because I have.

It makes me feel sick every time I think about what I'm about to type.
I live in a house of 20 people. There are only four guys. Near the start of the year (about 6 months ago) I became very attracted to one of the girls in the house. At first I thought it was just lust as she was (and still is) extremely attractive. Later I discovered that she had a boyfriend. I realised it wasn't just lust when we became best friends as the year progressed. We always talk and joke and have heaps of fun. Ofcourse, 2 months ago, her boyfriend broke it off with her and suddenly she was available. At this stage I was already with my girlfriend. In the last two weeks I have realised that I love this girl from my house but I think I love my girlfriend as well. The thought of it makes me feel terrible.

Every time I see the girl from my house, I get excited, yet I don't feel this same excitement when I see my girlfriend. I have long and comfortable conversations with the girl from my house, yet conversations with my girlfriend feel forced. The girl from my house is so energetic, exciting and spontaneous. I am so confused. I don't know if the girl from my house feels te same way about me in any way. I feel like my girlfriend adores me much more than I do her.

I think that my girlfriend believes in no sex before marriage because we still have not done anything beyond kissing. I constantly feel horny when we are kissing but get frustrated when we do not go any further. I know it all sounds bad, but I can't control any of these feelings. I just want to be happy.

What should I do?





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