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I will try to keep this to the point. I am 26 and I have had the same boyfriend for the past 4 years. Overall the relationship has been good. He's a great guy, financially stable, patient, good looking, kind, respectful, etc. My friends and family like and get along with him. Even though he is a great guy and all, for the past year there have been a few instances where I would initiate a possible break up, but when reality set in, I could never do it because I felt as though I needed him in my life. The main problem is that even though he has a great personality, I was always bothered by it because it's not the personality I like in a man. He is VERY laid back, reserved, not opinionated at all, no charisma, no assertiveness. I am the dominant one/leader in the relationship, and yes I know it sounds cliche, but I like the man to be the leader/protector. I guess what it comes down to is that I am bored with him, and I kept thinking one day he will change, that he will turn into a fun, spontaneous, and outgoing guy, but he's going to be 30 years old in a month, so I know he is set in his ways. Even though I am comfortable in this relationship, I am so bored. I love and care for him, but I am no longer IN love with him. And the thought of breaking up with him does break my heart some too. I want to cry when I think about having to do it. I know the obvious thing to do is break up with him. But he is in the Air Force and is overseas in Afghanistan and has been for the past 6 months.

More importantly: A month after he left, I was missing him/staying in/not doing anything but waiting for him to come home. Then the next month I was starting to go out with my friends more and having fun, starting to become more independent, etc. Well about 3 months after he left, I met another guy through my best girlfriend while she had a get together at her house. This guy was recently engaged to a girl he dated for 7 years, but it fell through 3 months before he met me. After meeting him for the first time, I felt an instant connection with him since we just talked for a couple hours, and I find out later he felt the same. Well long story short this has evolved into almost a relationship. I feel horrible since I have been seeing this other guy, and he feels guilty as well. I know I am wrong for seeing this guy for the past 2 months, I HAVE NOT SLEPT WITH HIM...not that it makes it right, but I won;t do that until I am single, and he won't either. This guy is so great and both him and I can do anything together such as go hiking, shooting, anything! He is such a good guy, he has his priorities straight, owns his own business, etc. We have so much in common and he makes me laugh, and I like the person I am when I am with him. In my current relationship, I don't like who I am because I am constantly frustrated with his boring personality. This new guy has every single thing (funny, assertive, protective, outgoing, fun, spontaneous) I want that I am missing in my current bf.

This new guy said he is willing to wait for me for as long as he has to, and hates how hard this might be on me, yet he lets me know every now and then how he just wants me to himself. We are completely 100% honest with each other. We are 100% crazy about each other. I have told him how I worry that his ex fiance could come back into the picture and he has reassured me how it should have ended years ago and that he knows that it would never work and that he would never do anything to hurt me. I trust him, he trusts me. I keep thinking "this is new, of course it's exciting and fun". But I truly have never felt like this about anyone before, and he feels the same. He wants to bring me around his parents and friends, I want to tell the whole world about him, but because of my situation, we can't do either. I have reflected on whether or not to end a 4 year comfortable relationship with someone over a guy I just met a couple months ago, but I know what I want. The problem is, I hate lying to my friends, family, and especially my current bf about things. I don't feel sorry for myself, I just am tired of lying. I have turned into a liar and a cheater, and I hate myself for it...but I cannot NOT talk or be with this current guy I am seeing. My bf comes back in 1.5 more months. I want to end it now just because of the guiltiness I feel every day, yet I think it is ****** to break up with someone who has been in your life for so long over phone and/or skype. I don't even know where to begin to approach this situation (which I know I stupidly put myself in). Do I end it now and break his heart overseas, or do I wait and do it in person? I know breaking up with him while him being overseas is ******, but so is waiting to do it while I am seeing another guy behind his back. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.





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