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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Fellas I love my mom to death but I really can't stand her when she opens her mouth, but then I feel bad. She suffers from lopus,arthritis & definitely no doubt some kind of anxiety of fear, she is a hoarder of papers/documents(always 2 boxes of worthless papers everytime we move) & is an hypochondriac. My point is not to bash at her but rather let some anger out. I've been going crazy for the last 5 years and I just can't move out! It's sometimes unbereable to be around her, I don't even feel like coming home, her presense makes me sick sometimes.

To start off im the oldest of 4 siblings, 24. My mom her whole life has been over protectivce. Never let us go on field trips, lever let us have a social life. We couldn't have friends, we just could never be kids. She's real controllive. Until I turned 18 and just told her off and basically told her you keep the bs you've had going for 18 years with me and ima leave the house and never come back. She definitely eased off abit...enough for me to start my life, get a job & finally meet people & get a girlfriend. Yes...


My mom has always been a great mom in the sense of taking us to the doc, made sure were in good health, bought us what we needed and always no matter what we never went a day without food on the table, ever! But it's just imo that the bad antics of hers overweight the goodones. When I had mononoclosys, she was bedside with me for 3 months, and really saved my life and I will always appreciate her for it but still....

I always had dreams as a kid to play sports, after I cried so much to her, she enrolled me in the schools baseball team & after a practice she told me it was too dangerous because one of her friends son had died because he took a ball to the chest on a steal. Im like mom I understand but what are the chances, you can't think like that. Well basically she just told me that I live in her house and I must follow and that if I didn't like it when I turn 18 I could live but I wasn't gonna play baseball. Now my 21 year old sis, very artistic in drawings & dancing. Every teacher praised her creativity, she also wanted to dancem but guess what my mother, never put her in drawing or dance classes...why? I got no idea. 2 wasted talents here. And whenever I think about it, I shed a tear sometimes, and when she's reminded of it she is like "oh come on you guys weren't gonna ever be anything, please" & that response just makes it even worse. Because it's like she doesn't want to recognize it to cover herself up or she's trying to make us feel that were less than regular people. She use to give us those kind of responses when we were young, that is why we all had self-esteem issues, she has never in her life supported us, the only thing that has come out her mouth semi supporting is "get a job" or "go to college".

My mom doesn't understand she played with our social skills, and im still feeling the effects of it. Im not an anti-social but things that should come natural to one infact don't because of her not letting indenpendise ourselves at a developing age. Im sure I speak for myself and my brothers. My brother is 23 and still a virgin, I lost mine at 19 & my sister lost hers a 18 but guess what? When my sis got out of the house and felt all that liberty, she went wild, didn't even wanna come home since everything was so new to her. My way off seeing it is you cage an animal long enough and when that gate opens boy its a rocket comming out full of excitement. Exactly how I felt.

Now also my mom is a very jealous person. She is always talking about people, what they have or don't have. She is always on facebook to check on her friends life. She can't see a woman around my dad or she gets super defensive. She screams at my dad every day for the smallest of things. Every time we go out the door and come in, all she has too say is wash your hands, and so many arguments have started cause of this sillyness. She has even gone so far to spray lysol on our hands, she can't live without lysol nor hand-sanitiser.

I feel my mom is very insecure in every way. When she wants you to do something its like a general is talking to you, and dude you just get that half second though that you want to choke her! You people don't understand how bad it is. When she argues with my dad, she screams like a man, she wants to show she is the dominant one, sometimes I tell er mom god forgot to give you testicles. So when arguing she mirrors every insult thrown her way,for example you call her a she'll call you a big a, and then attack your sexuality and looks, that her blueprint for insulting... like I say she seems so insecure. I mean when she and my dad went out on the first, she threw the cup of wine in his face for him supposely looking at the waitress... She also loves to threaten everybody in the house in the worst and fallacious way you can ever imagine, just to get her way. And don't you dare have an argument with her and she knows you a secret she will spill it out no matter how sensitive it is. And after an argument she will call her family which in all honesty don't care for her and never have, so I guess where her trauma comes from to tell em what just happened to make us look bad, like seriously I tell her to get a life, because people living theirs while she's wasting hers.

My dad is a great hardworking man, he lost his job in 07 but has kept a roof over us thanks to him selling cars from a friend that has a dealer. My dad makes 100-200 on a car and sometimes none are sold in a week. So my dad gives her all that money, and spots him 20 dollars, from that money she wants him to pay the gas used to bring the cars here & buy breakfast! COME ON! My dad doesn't even got clothes nor passport cause she used to cut everything of his when she got mad at him. And now look... Hell she used to slam so many toys and games when I was a kid, that is was baffling. But yea after all my dad does, she tells him to bring money, that her friends husband have money, for him to go rob somebody? Are you really that stupid trying to suggest the figure of the house to steal from somebody?!?


She is so ridiculous that even at this age, she wants to know who we go out with and their phone numbers. I did it the first time I went clubbin and even tho I warned her not to, she called this people asking for me if I was alright...I felt a little emberrased, that is not the point, the point is she doesn't care what you think, it's what she says and thinks that goes period. Her response as when you claim her why she did something after you told her not to? "Well it already happened right, so relax its no big deal". But again that is not the point! Respect peoples choices, show me some kind of respect for once in your life, something she has never done ever! Even at this age she goes into my big sisters room and going through her stuff, and even has the nerve to question "what is this that I found!" and I know she done it too me a couple times too but Im just tired of arguing with her, you are never to win nor convince her, no matter if your putting the truth in her eyes... What does she say? Don't get in my life, don't tell me what not or what to do. Oh really? Same thing I wish you did for me, mind your biz and leave me alone.

I know im writing alot but I need to put out there every kind of detail I can remember of her cause there alot. She uhmm lets see, with her self authority comes in and takes a shirt,shorts or any clothing to wipe/clean something when theres no paper towels or rag. Like seriously?!? Can't you just tell us to go do you a favor and cap one for you? Oh wait her response is " Oh that shirt was ugly, what you want your 2 dollars for it?" or this one that totally gets me ticked off " I can't believe you claiming a piece of clothing, after all the money I spent raising you up! Why don't you start paying me back all my money?" I simply nod and wonder did she even want to have us or she is just being a stubborn self? I just respond " as a parent it is your right to raise us and pay for the neccesities until we are old enough to pay for our things or you simply coulda gave us into abortion if you think you'd spend too much on us" Do you know what she says back? "well start paying back now" Its like she can't handle truths nor pressure, she just keeps stabbing you worse.

Im not gonna lie when I was young, I would lock myself in the bathroom thinking about killing myself and I would stay there hours crying, why? because I'd see all my neighbors outside having fun being kids. Sad how we always had to look from the outside. But yea know what didn't make me commit that stupidity? Me having that little sense in saying no life is fun its just my mom not letting me live it. Thank god I didn't ommit because I was so close so many times!

My moms been so overprotective treating us like wine glasses our whole lives. Always thinking of everything bad that can happen, never thinking positive. Like "Oh why you gotta go out, you just cant stay home, theres bad people out there" or "I'll give you 20 bucks & stay home!" Topped by when were walking out the door by the stupidest things like watch out for this, that and that, and this, that, this until you just tell er "shut the hell up mom!" Ha also when we just chilling outside and theres a car, she starts in front of people making us look like child,idiots,whatever you wanna call it. "Omg be careful with the car backing out, it'll cut you in half if it hits you, or watch out with the tree that a spider might bite you" dude things like that make you feel emberrased and ashamed in front of people because either my mom thinks were children still or that were stupid as hell, which is where one begins to have self-doubts of "what does my mom think of me, am i really stupid?" see mind games start creeping up on you, and really thats not healthy for anybody, and just plain lowers your self value because I always valued what my mom though, but now I really don't care, I know she can't be right in her head.

Well now enter my gorgeous diamond treasure... my lil sis, she is 6. She was a twin until unfortunately 2 weeks before due date there was a malpractice and one of them is overlooking her lil sis from deep deep in that baby blue sky. My mom went into a horrible depressive state, we all did in fact, those first months were just brutal because man the wound is freshly opened. While now it definitely still hurts, you just learn to cope with it and we got this one here present and we got to live for her too even tho theres not a day I don't think about my fallen angel.

So yea my sis is the life & bright light of the house, she keeps your mood up, there is something special about her, she is just so charming and funny. She loves too sing, dance & does it in a natural way. So in my eyes she is another talent that as her big brother do not wan't to let it go down the drain as it happened with the bigger us. But that really hard to do when my mom has never let me,any of my brothers, nor my dad ever and I mean ever go out with her not even to the park... Did I mention I never went out with my dad till I was 18? Even tho I begged her mom just one time please I promise I'll be safe, she will just say no. Never had the chance to learn anything from my dad because of her, and now im really close with my dad, go figure!

I tell her "mom, lil sis needs to go the park, you barely ever take er, sure you go out shopping with her but she needs to interact with kids!" her response is oh she gonna get ill or sick because all those kids are surely sick and all the games in their are contaminated. I say "mom, she needs antibodies also! and plus if every mother though like you, kids would be doomed" basically she tells me to go to hell cause that is her daughter and not mine. Also she doesn't allow my sis to go out the door and sit with me and my dad because she thinks were gonna get distracted and shes gonna run off to the street. I mean come on leave the trauma somewhere else. She needs to see life to, the sun, its not all just inside playing with her 1000 dolls & toys, cause she does buy her alot of toys, but that doesn't mean your a great mom. Sis needs to have touch with the outer world to. She is extrovert and all you gonna do is compress her & mess er up for life.
So well she didn't go to school last year, but she did complete homeschooling, now like I said she is 6, but no my mom wants her to do homeschooling again! I just got in a superheated argument with her because I just can't tolerate that, give me a reason as too why and she just told me she know what is right for her daughter and that she hopes I die...

My moms a very procastinating person, dunno if I mentioned but she always late to appointments, cancels em and re-schedules then gets mad when they give er the next appointment in 2 weeks, she almost never took us to school on time and I mean it. When we gotta be on time somewhere she gets out at the time we were suppose to arrive there. When she goes grocery shopping, she starts early to go out but always and I mean always ends up going at night, like if she didn't want to do it or it's just how her brain works, idk but I find it so confusing to understand her.
But guys this is not about me, I can't move out cause I lost my job and even with a job life is pretty expensive, I just wish I didn't have to deal with all this stuff man. My lil sis is big and strong, very healthy can't complain in that aspect like she was with us but all the other things, me no comprende. So guys the point of this thread and I appreciate deep down if you read it all the way too here lol is that what can I do, what can I tell my mom, can I use some of her dose of threatening and scare her or something to make her take my lil sis to school this year, I am feeling very bad about this, she is a child and needs to be in an enviroment with children and get the proper education and interact with children, its completely natural, she's been thru school with us so I don't know what is her issue now... Guys I want her to go to school, what can I do please?!?!?!!?!?! I jus't don't want a repeat of me...

Thanks in advance peeps, I'll truly welcome any good spirited suggestions :)





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