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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hey,

I've been in relationship with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and I have been so happy. He's the most amazing, beautiful man ever and I love him so much. We've been living together for 9 months which has gone really well and it's great living with him, we get on so well.

I really have been so happy and then 2 weeks ago I found myself thinking really negatively about our relationship, which was completely out of the blue and there was no reason for thinking it.

I started to think what happens if it doesn't work out between us which is something I'd not considered before. This then spiralled to maybe these thoughts mean that I'm starting to go off him but I know this is not true when we are together and I know our relationship is not over, it's just my head with these thoughts! I have lost all confidence in myself because I've started to doubt myself when I used to be so sure. I also used to be fine looking at an attractive guy and didn't think anything of it but now I feel guilty for even looking at someone even though I don't actually want do anything with any of them, my boyfriends the only one that I want and want to kiss, touch etc but I just have lost all confidence in myself now. It's that bad that I am working from home because I find work too confusing!

There are a few things which have probably contributed to these thoughts coming into my head: I stopped taking my pill which has made my hormones go a bit mad and it was our 2 year anniversary the day after these thoughts appeared. I'm now back on my pill. My parents also split up whilst I was in my teens and neither of them were there for me so this is the first time that I have really experienced unconditional love like my boyfriend shows me.

This is also my first serious relationship and so I've not had to process this any of this before.

I've told my boyfriend everything and he is so supportive and keeps reminding me that my hormones are all over the place and they'll stabilise again but I worry that I'll end up messing our relationship up with all these thoughts and I'll be so gutted because I'll never find anyone else so well suited to me, I know we are meant to be together. The thought of him moving on and finding a new girlfriend just devastates me!

I feel so guilty towards him for thinking these things too because it's not like there has been any reason to make me start to think like this.

I am speaking to a therapist because I realise that there are insecurities that I need to deal with but I'm not speaking to her until next week and I am hoping that some of you have been through something similar and come out the other side and can give me some advice?

Thanks





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