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Relationship Health Message Board

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I'd been in this relationship for almost two years and it was tumultuous to say the least. I think I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and I can't believe it. I've always heard sad stories about others in these kind of relationships, but never thought I would end up in one. My now ex-boyfriend had opened the door to many things I would have never had agreed on with any other guy. It was the first time that I had come across such a possessive man. I was always used to having many friends from both sexes and in all honesty I believed that it was ok to have friends of both sexes. According to my ex it was not and although I fought for my point, I ended being somewhat emotionally scarred from the multiple fights that it lead me not to necessarily abandon my male friendships, but become distant from them. He also opened the door to name calling. I'm going to admit that I will run my mouth when I get angry, cuss words, and I believe it's a fault of mine, but I had NEVER called any of my exes names. Not only did he call me names, but he made fun of me, insulted me physically and mentally, which I never forgave him for. This was getting better as time progressed which had given me some false hope for this relationship. I don't have the greatest confidence in the world and he knew it. I am an attractive and accomplished 22 year old woman, but I can never truly believe that, and he held me back from becoming better. He always questioned my loyalty because he as well had severe confidence issues, he knew I was a catch for him. About a week ago he had a dream about me cheating, and confronted me about it as if it really happened. He told me that I had put that in his head, that I said that I had been with this guy prior to him (which I had never said) and that he couldn't bare to think that I had been with any other guy. What pained so much is that I am as loyal as they come, I barely talked about my issues with my friends. I never even looked at other guys. He put in my head that seeking other male friendships was wrong, so I'd feel guilty when I would speak to a friend. When we got into fights he would go around facebook liking other girls pictures to **** me off, which sadly worked. I've gotten so messed up from this relationship, to the point that now I feel I have nothing. A few hours ago we were having an argument, and he was doing the usual when we have a fight, he was ignoring me. At some point I got so mad that I grabbed a bottle of coke and dumped it on him. This had been going on for hours, and I as usual was so frustrated. After dumping the coke on him he grabbed me by the hair and smashed my face on the floor. I now have a giant bump on my forehead, my nose still hurts, and my arm is bruised up. I called my parents immediately because I was so shocked. It's like I knew that this relationship would end badly, everyone told me to move on, that I can do 1000 times better, but I believed him and this nonsense called "love". This relationship had turned me from a normal girl to a girl who had to go on anti-depressants due to severe anxiety. He told me he truly loved me and we had so many great moments, we got along well in other aspects.This was my best-friend and I don't understand how someone could do something like this. He was the reason I got up in the morning, now I'm a stranger to this life. I have very few friends who I can talk to, mainly because I sacrificed them for this relationship. My parents hated him because he really got to me when we fought. I just don't understand why I stayed this long when the signs were all there, almost like waiting for this to happen, to knock some sense into me. My mom tells me I'm a smart person in all aspects, except when choosing the right people to be around. I don't get why my mind works this way, I feel obsessive and I am an idiot for wanting it to get better WITH him. I'm going to die trying to keep myself away from him, and even if I have support I feel so alone and betrayed. I'd just like to hear some insight.

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