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Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if the same people are still looking through this site, but i had a thread 2 years ago about my exboyfriend called "strung along? let go?". The backstory of that was.. my boyfriend (now my exboyfriend) and I were together for 3 years.. super happy and traveled the world. He worked for an airlines company and would be able to fly whenever he pleased. On the weekend of his birthday, he said he was going on a "guys trip to boston" for the day (taking the red eye the night before and flying back the next day) with his male coworkers.. and later through his email.. i found out he lied and went with a girlcoworker to boston. For a week we fought and i found messages through his phone.. but i decided to work things out with him because i loved him and he was everything i wanted.. but despite my willingness to work through the lie... he decided he needed a break and we broke up. Yet a couple months (messy months) after.. we got back together.

after getting back together, he still tried to be the sweetest boyfriend ever.. but for some reason i couldn't forget what he did. I was depressed and always was hurt. I was embarrassed in front of my friends and i was always crying and replayed the pain in my head. So we eventually after another year.. we said we should take a "break"/"breakup".. and maybe thats what i needed to get over what happened.

a couple of months passed.. and i ended up hanging out with one of my guy friends more. eventually i started to get feelings for him.. but thought that it was just a fling (because i still had my exboyfriend at heart). however time when on and i got more confused. more and more. between the two of them... however i ended up really dating my friend.

My friend/boyfriend now is always so sweet and patient with me. he understands that i have trust issues and always does things to make me feel safe.

however my exboyfriend is still in my heart sometimes.. and it bugs me because i feel like i can't be completely happy with where i am now. My ex and I do talk here and there... and it was messy before.. but now he just basically says that he still loves me and he still thinks in the end me and him are going to work out. That all he wants is my happiness and he knows in the end itll be me and him... and that this is "through thick in thin".

So basically now i dont know what i'm doing. I do love my current boyfriend... he's so sweet and kind and funny... but i cant seem to shake my exboyfriend of my mind. I have dreams about him all the time, and i wake up scared and confused. Iknow in my heart i do still have feelings for him... but i love my boyfriend now.

if anyone could put their input, id greatly appreciate it!

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