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Relationship Health Message Board


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My boyfriend (we are both 21) makes me cry about random things a lot. The most recent instance:

Sep 2, 2012 – We were signing up for CNN newsletter, I couldn’t figure out how to sign up and my computer screen wasn’t working because it said “loading profile, this should only take a few seconds” and I waited like 5 minutes each time even after refreshing. He got frustrated/mad at me when I asked if he could just use the username and password I have to sign up. I also couldn’t figure out how to subscribe as fast as he did, so he got mad at me. Hurt my feelings “I just don’t understand how you can be so bad at technology” “Why cant you do it yourself?” I can do it myself. It would just take longer for me, and if you’ve already figured it out and are so good with technology why cant you type in my un/pw and click subscribe? My computer is old and glitchy and something that would take me 10 tries would take you 1. --> from my "cry chart" I started recently to try to make sense of it all.

He apologized to me, but this seems to happen all the time... He is an angry person by nature and conversely my parents have never once been really angry at me and I am have a non combative personality (in the same situation where other couples argue, he argues and I just cry). He is caring and is never abusive or anything, but I'm afraid that if I'm crying so much now will he just get worse in the future since we are still semi in the "honeymoon phase?" I love him so much and I know he loves me too, but I hate crying so much all the time... especially when most of it isn't my fault. Also, because I'm crying a lot I'm worried that if I cry in the future about something truly important he won't care as much since I cry so much now. We're currently in a long distance relationship (but will be in the same place in less than a year) and he makes me cry over skype.

More about his personality: whenever something goes not the way he planned he gets super upset... sometimes unreasonably. He knows he's being unreasonable and still he gets very angry and violent to objects like kicking the radiator with all his might. This happened when he sent in his passport and they sent it back with his name misspelled... he became very angry and had a kicking fest with the radiator while I was on skype. I was very scared, but I know for a fact he would never hurt me. Lastly, I am very open and honest with him and have told him many times that his behavior scares me sometimes and hurts my feelings when he makes me cry. However, it keeps happening partially because I'm oversensitive when he gets angry and partially because he can't really control his anger well. What should I do?

Edit: I'm skyping him now and told him looking for shadowing opportunities isn't going so well and he just said "Don't worry, you'll find something good eventually I know it." This is him most of the time.





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