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So, as some of you know, I recently broke up with my ex almost two months ago. He was wonderful when we first started dating, but there were so many red flags that I refused to acknowledge for the sake of staying with him. Boy, was that a bad idea. Turns out, he was/is a big fruitloop.

Obviously, after two years of being together, there are some pretty big residual feelings there. I know how badly he treated me, but that doesn't stop my mind from wandering to when we fell asleep side-by-side every night, or when he used to pick me up and twirl me around. I think that's normal though; when people are lonely, they always think of the good times, even when there were some HORRIBLE times.

What's worse is that he keeps emailing and texting me. Why - after almost two months - am I receiving emails and texts, where he feels the need to “highlight my amazing attributes” (I already know how amazing I am, but thanks anyway), where he tells me that “losing [me] is the biggest mistake of [his] life” (You don’t say…), and that he “want[s] to meet up and talk” (Wait, what?). On the other hand, I have recently been notified that he is still in contact with her (as her freak-of-nature boyfriend keeps informing me despite the fact that I have asked him to leave me alone) and that he is already messaging other women to hang out/signed up for a dating website - don't even ask how I know, I'm ashamed to admit it.

This weekend, he texted me to say: "I just wanted to say hello, hope everythings ok in your life...wanted to know how the graduation went?" (I teach highschool, so the kids had their graduation in July). I haven't bothered to reply to anything he has written me, but it still leaves a void in my life. LET ME MOVE ON! I don't need any more reminders of you. It hurts too much to know that I wasn't the one he would change for - not that he would change for anyone anyway.

I don't want him to think I'm scared of him, which is what I think ignoring him is actually doing.

I don't want to talk to him, so I don't want to reply. I feel that
gives him some sort of satisfaction or assuages his guilt in some way. He doesn't deserve that.

I don't want to pretend that I've changed my number and that I'm someone else, because he knows P (my old roommate) and S (my roommate's girlfriend) still talk to me via text. Plus, I'm scared that makes me look like I'm hiding.

I am also too scared to talk to him because I don't want to know about him being with another woman, or to find out he's only contacting me so that he can feel like he's moved on, so he can start a new relationship. I'm not ready for that yet.

So....talk to me?





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