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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hey, I'm in a similar situation to be honest. Two months ago I had the thought what if my relationship doesn't work out and that led to me worrying that it meant I was going off my boyfriend of 2 years! I just couldn't understand where these thoughts had come from, I'd gone from happy, secure and content one day to an emotional insecure mess!

Now I'm constantly worrying that I'm going off him and these thoughts are in my mind all of the time. The thing is when I'm with him I still love touching and kissing him and spending time with him and when we were on holiday, my mind was taken off the situation and everything was fine.

Now we're back from holiday, the thoughts are back. If I see a good looking guy normally I'd just think they're nice looking and then dismiss them from my thoughts but now I worry that it means I'm going off my boyfriend.

I feel completely insecure with myself and like I've let myself down by having these thoughts. Before the thought entered my mind I was sure we'd be together for a long time because we make such a great couple. We're made for each other. He's made me so happy and I value our relationship more than anything. But I obsess about things and I'm obsessing about these thoughts.

My boyfriend knows everything and is being so supportive. I think because he knows how good our relationship is and that this is just a minor blip. I think if I hadn't gone from happy and content one day to panicking the next, they'd be true thoughts but as I did, they can't be. Plus I still love him, I know deep down I do!

I love our relationship and don't want it to be over. I need to just control my anxiety about everything and keep rationalising. I'm actually starting hypnotherapy this week to try to deal with my anxiety. I just want normal me back. Happy, secure me!

I hope it helps to know you're not alone. Not sure how much advice I can give but surely if you really were going off your boyfriend, you'd know it was the right thing to not be with him anymore?! Perhaps you're just over thinking things like I am? How do you act when you're with him? Do you still like spending time with him and kissing him? Sometimes if you're overanalysing the situation, it can make things worse.

I started reading a book called 'stop thinking, start living' which made a lot of sense and helped a lot. It was basically saying that thoughts are just thoughts and are not reality, they're your imagination creating either your past or future thoughts and only when you are in a healthy state if mind can you know which are real thoughts and make the right decisions.





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