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SORRY FOR MY bad ENGLISH....
I met my boyfriend one year ago,it was a rebound relationship, I was so much attached to him, we used to talk 7-8 hours in day. He used to tell me he wants to marry me, but we both belongs to conservative families where caste matters a lot, my parents are poor, by facing many hardships they raised me & sent me to a very good college, so it was quite clear that we can never get married to each other due to inter caste , we both are very much attached to our parents. But we decided till we get married to some other people we will be together so that we can have some good memories of each other. But it created lot of insecurities in my mind,he was cool with this idea, I lost my virginity to him, but I didnít bleed so he doubted on me but i clarified everything .

He have trust issues. he is very insecure & controlling.Most of my friends are guys so he was very insecure, so he forced me that if I have him why I need to talk to other guys, I am not a good girlfriend, I am not satisfied with him, so I keep on cheating on him by talking with other guys, but it was not true, they all were my friends I never cheated on him. But I never blamed him because I was so much attached to him, I never wanted to leave him.

whenever he used to spend more times with his friends, it always made me upset, deep down I always knew that this behavior of mine is not healthy, so I tried to change myself so that he can have his space, so slowly slowly I started giving him his space, but still he was not at all working on himself, he was so insecure, he used to abuse me verbally everyday whenever my phone was busy, because I hardly get time in day so in night only I used to call my friends. Whenever I tried to left him he blamed me that I am leaving him all alone, his exams are coming & he can,t study, I am making his life miserable, he was with me in my bad times after my break up but I am not supporting him, but it was not true, I know i was suffering from emotional attachment problem but still I supported him for four months when he was alone in spite of the fact that he used to abuse me every day, he was so possessive , it affected my study badly, I am still studying & dependent on parents, our financial condition is also not good, so sometimes it makes me feel so guilty, that I am cheating on my parents , they have high expectation from me , I am not caring about my parents at all, we are in long distance relationship, we met only twice in one year, this time he wanted to meet me, but I put a condition that from now on we will not going to have sex, as we are very clear that we don,t have future together, so it will hurt me in long run, I only want to spend time with him, he called me old fashioned & he refused to come, he said he wants everything from me, love, sex ,care, he don,t want any condition, but I am not ready for these thing. Finally I broke up with him, but I don,t know why I still miss him. I still blame my self for everything, I still think I was abusive he was not, I made him abusive, my emotional behavior, my life problems made him abusive.





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