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Relationship Health Message Board

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I got married 3 years back. Ours was love marriage. Just after marriage I felt a s if the relationship was going down. I think it was because we never lived together before and it took us time (couple of months) to figure our what works for us when we live together. I think I am a clean person but my wife was very particular about where stuff should be. What time dishes should go in dishwasher. I was bit lazy, I would sometime leave the kitchen unwiped in the night if it was my turn and do it next day.. I feel my wife is much better when it comes to debate or arguments as her motto in life is do what makes her feel better and my motto is listen to people close to me and care about them.. So I care about my family, when we got married I wanted her to become integral part of my family. My parents are on different continent so we video chat on skype on weekends. My wife did not show any interest in my family. Before marriage she was good friends with my brother but after marriage she found faults in almost every member of my family and have not spoken with my brother from past 16-18 months. She says all good things about her family want me to get attached to them..
About 15 months back I caught her lying to me that she is shopping at a mall and will be back late. During that time I went to purchase some home stuff from near by store and saw her car parked there. I was curious as to where she is and I called her back and asked If I can also come to the mall and where her car is parked she said she will be back soon and made me feel that I will hinder her shopping experience by coming to the mall and she said she has parked her car in the mall. When she came back home I directly asked her that I saw her car parked at the store and she accepted that she lied and she was out with a office colleague who I also know. I asked her if she is hiding something from me and she said no, he is just a good friend and she loves me and she didn't tell me because she thought I will doubt her.. So I asked her to be very open with me and never hide anything from me. I told her as her husband I have at least right to know what she is doing..she promised that she will not hide anything from me.
Yesterday we were out with some friends and I just happen to see a message from this guy with words like (my heart, come back to me soon, I am missing you a lot).. because we were with friends I did say anything that time. When I got back home and asked her to show me the message it was deleted but she accepted that those words were used and she said there is noting going on and she loves me and be with me whole life.. I told her that I don't want that guy in our life and she said he is very good friend and though there relation is bit unconventional its normal and I should not be worried about it. She also said she is not cheating on me..I also asked her that I want to read all her sms and emails to which she disagrees as thats her person stuff...

I don;t know what to make our from everything thats going on. I am very stressed. I feel very lonely in this country as most of my friends and family are far.. I feel like going back to them but my wife wants to be in this country and she is the only reason I am here..If I go back I think we will have to live separately if we did not get divorce.. I have also invested money here in home so I don't know how things going to impact me...

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