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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

my partner and i have an "open" relationship. we agreed on that. i told him it's ok if he wants to have sex(safe) with somebody else, it's fine. he said the same. we didn't discuss it any further. two days ago, i walked past his computer and noticed a text up on the screen to someone he'd hooked up with once. there were a total of 125 texts back and forth over the two and a half days prior. the texts were telling this other person how he wished they were cuddled up watching dvr'd shows, how much he couldn't wait until this other person was close enough to him that he could feel their breath and the beating of their heart. he asked them to go to an amusement park with him. he asked to take them to lunch this week. they'd already met up and had lunch about a week prior too. he's texting this person even while i'm around. i just feel like these are things he should EXCLUSIVELY be doing with me. or maybe non-sexual friends.

basically here's where i'm scared, confused, worried, etc... when i pointed to the texts on the screen, he told me that those were just "words on a screen" and they meant nothing. he said he was just playing the game to get into the other person's pants and that it was nothing more than that. he told me over and over that i'm the one for him. he seemed to be thrown off that i'd even be concerned about what i'd seen. he told me that we agreed we'd have an open relationship. which is true. we did. but is this going too far? when i said open, i thought it meant just sex. what he's doing with this other person almost seems like dating to me. my question to anyone willing to answer with their honest opinion: If you've agreed to have an open relationship and your boyfriend/girlfriend begins hanging out(even occasionally) with someone that they're also hooking up with, is that going too far? Am I wrong to feel the way I feel?

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