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Hello,
Sorry for the length in advance, but I want the best possible help I can get!!

I would like to start by stating that I have never seeked help on a site like this before, nor did I ever see myself needing any kind of help in this sort. I was brought up as a Catholic(and try to stay true to most of the commandments but I'm only human and stray from time to time) and in a very close family where my father adores my mother and looks at her like its the best day of his life every time he sees her. I absolutely love my father for this reason among others.

[B]My problem: [/B] I am currently cheating on my girlfriend with one of my good friend's fiance. I need advice on many things.

[B]Background: [/B]

[U]Girlfriend: [/U]I have been in my current relationship with my girlfriend for a little over one year now and things are wonderful. I met her at my former job and we became good friends. I always had a little crush on her from the time we met, but once I decided to change jobs and take over the family business, our feelings for one another escalated. We started officially dating about a month before I moved back home(I know, challenging situation right off the bat). Things were on the up and up in the beginning as I was able to travel to see her (about 3 hr ride), relatively often. Things are still great between us. We had a few rough spots but worked through them with no issues. The most recent issue was the distance which was always lingering in my mind when it would be an issue for her. (My issue is I am a very logical person and when I know I cannot see her I just block the option out and don't dwell on....women are a little more emotional and I can respect that). Anyways, we kind of always talked about our future together and where we would end up. I am from the Northeast and she is from Texas.(We met due to our previous employer...we worked for the same company on the same project). We originally decided that she would finish out her new project that we was assigned which would be done in about a year from now. Then we began having issues due to the lack of time the we got to spend together....I continued to get busier and busier with the business and had less time available to her. And she began to see the same reasons I left my former employer and is pretty much fed up with work and her boss. We managed to work out that if I wasn't in the picture she would be looking for jobs in Texas to move closer to her family, but because I am, and we talked about her moving closer to me anyways, we decided she might as well start looking for jobs sooner than later.

[U]Enter Home Situation[/U]: I have a very close group of guy friends that I have been friends with since we were young kids and went to college with most of them. We are avid hunters, fishers, and outdoors men. We spend a lot of time together and talk about everything as most men usually do.(Another one of my reasons for moving back home. More time for things I love doing.). Recently one of good friends(call him Bob) got engaged to his high school girlfriend(she is also a friend of mine from high school and college). I couldnt have been happier for the 2 of them. They both attended college with me and went their separate ways for about 5 years but remained good friends. Bob did his thing and she hers, to say the least. I honestly had a feeling those two would end up together as she is very similar to his mother and an absolute sweetheart. Since I have moved home, we all have got to spend much more time together and become an even closer group of friends, almost to the extent of brotherhood.

[U]Enter Start of Problem:[/U] About 3 months ago, my friend's fiance, 2 of my other friends, and I attend a football game back at our college campus. We stayed at my friends place who is a bit younger than us and unfortunately Bob could not attend due to his work schedule and neither could my girlfriend. We all went out and got drunk and had a great time reminiscing. Later that night we crashed on the floor next to each other(Bob's fiance and I) and spooned. I then began to massage her and then touched her breasts. She did not stop me, but held my hand. We kind of joked a little bit about the next day, but we both had this feeling that we never felt before. I know that she nor I never intended anything to happen, maybe it was the booze, and never even looked at each other that way. (I have always appreciated her because of how sweet she is, and of course she is beautiful). We left that weekend in the past and I never thought it would be an issue again. I dont think she did either. We continued to talk as we always have, but there has been that extra something when we see each other now.

In the meantime, Bob asked me to be a groomsmen in his wedding and I graciously accepted. Bob's fiance was excited as well. However, our conversations have progressed and sweet nothings are often exchanged between the two of us during our text conversations. We have also talked about the whole situation in depth and realize our timing is awful and nothing could come of this nor should it. I thought it was over, and I thought she felt the same (because she has become friends with my girlfriend as well) but we continue down the same path. We have exchanged messages that explain that we would like more from each other even though we know it is not right. (A lot of this I think is from her lack of at home attention from Bob....he often puts her thoughts and desires to the side and is more concerned with his own interests, hobbies and friends. Quite frankly Bob can be a real jerk to her and she does not deserve that sort of treatment) When she drinks, she tends to be a little more loose lipped to me than she should. I try to take everything with a grain of salt but deep down I want to know what else is there.

[U]Enter added complications:[/U] I feel like an *** for doing this because of how wonderful my girlfriend is and how much she is sacrificing to be with me and move up here. Which she is in the process of as I write this. I am extremely excited about her move as I want to spend more time with her and see what the next step in our relationship brings. I sort of feel like the situation with Bob's fiance is occurring because I don't see my own girlfriend very often.

My home group has attended events together and there has been some more flirting with Bob's fiance(again my girlfriend is not present). But even when she is around, sometimes I feel like I cant help but be curious about Bob's fiance.

Recently we all partied as a group and she pulled me aside (after man drinks and minus my girlfriends presence) and said to get Bob really drunk. I asked why and she said you'll find out. We Bob, his fiance and I all got extremely drunk and he ended up passing out elsewhere. We ended up next to each other and the same thing happened again that did initially. I don't know why I cant stop myself form doing this even though I know it is wrong but I am really wondering constantly anymore what it would be like if Bob's fiance and I were together?

Final Question: Am I being selfish and and allowing this to happen because I want more? My biggest fear is loosing all of our mutual friends and I dont know what Bob's fiance's level of commitment is to Bob at this point. Am I just a filler, giving her the missing attention? We only talk anymore when Bob is work or when we are in person. I am just so confused and dont want to hurt anyone. But I do realize that this is also my life too and I dont want to end up with the wrong person if my feelings lie with someone else.

Any advice is welcomed. Thank you for reading.





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