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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

My boyfriend of almost 4 years went on vacation for one week to his home country, but right before he left we had a fight and didn't talk for about 3 or 4 days during the time he was away. Then he had the initiative to call me to work things out, we talked until almost 6 in the morning and everything was okay. However, two days later, he went out with his brother and friends. At the bar/club they were at, he got drunk and after dancing with a girl, they kissed and I guess spent the rest of the night at the club together. They didn't have sex afterwards or see each other, but he did add her to his facebook acct. I found out because I saw a picture and they were in the background kissing. Two days later when he got back in the States I confronted him and he denied it for a while, then came clean.

During the 4 years we've been together, I never thought he was this type of guy, even thought he did tell me that he had cheated on his ex girlfriend before, but that it was one of the worst mistakes of his life and that he wouldn't do that again (she did take him back, and he was loyal after that).

My family likes him, my friends like him... But he is approaching 30 and I feel like this kind of behavior is so childish. I also feel completely betrayed and I feel like the best part of our relationship which was trust and respect are gone. It hurts me that he would do something like this, especially in front of his brother?!!! At the same time, I've cut contact with him completely for two weeks now and I miss him terribly and I wonder if I made the right choice. Sometimes I think I may be able to forgive, but other times I think not.

What bothers me is that he has done this before to a past girlfriend, so I am scared this might be a pattern. On the other hand, I think maybe I should only worry about OUR relationship, and not take into consideration what he did when he wasn't with me.

I have had a lot of time away from him and I've thought so much about this whole situation and still can't come up with a concrete decision. I need some help and advice, please!

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