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First off, This may get lengthy - I apologize in advance.

Guess I am starting off with a bang, so to speak.

I'll get right to the point:

I've been seeing a man on and off since 2010. We met through co-worker/friends and we've done the usual going out to dinner, movies, etc. Nothing as far as he calling me his gf or anything like that, but rather a casual friendship.

I found out a couple of days ago he got hired at a company out of state - way across country...so with that said, yes I am a bit sad right now but he is moving on and he's doing what needs to be done and would be a fool to turn down this opportunity.

But I have been thinking about all the stuff he has said and done in the past and wonder what is wrong with him? Loaded question, I know. But I have a degree in criminology/forensic psychology so I feel I have been really 'dumbing down' myself through this whole friendship and shame on me.

I can sit here and spew all the advice you want - to someone else. Problem is, when it comes to me, forget about it. I am at a loss.

Here is a small sampling of what I have observed:

*He had told me he was in love with a woman, and to my surprise I had no idea he was dating anyone let alone how serious it was. He wrote her a poem, etc., long story short, she rejected him and he became very depressed. He took his time to grieve, but called me to 'comfort' him in his time of need.

*Prior to this, he told me he 'might' have a girlfriend pending the fact that she agrees for him to see other women on the side and hoping she is 'not the jealous type' because he would not go for that. Well, as you can imagine, she did not agree and they parted ways.

*Another instance was when I was helping my brother out babysitting for them and this guy knew (he asked me to movies and I said I couldn't - was watching kids) his reply was "I'd just give them a benadryl or nyquil and come over" -- this kind of talk about my niece and nephew kept up with similar remarks whenever I would watch the kids on several occasions. My brother paid me, I had the days off work, it was not a big deal - I love my family. But I told him that was rude and I did not like his comments, etc. He just laughed it off and said, 'well I'd rather shoot myself than watch kids'


*Another instance was when he and I went on a weekend trip to the mountains. But when I thought we'd be staying at a hotel (I even offered to pay half) he turned down an abandoned dirt road that was chained off - got out his lock picking kit and went to town. So we ended up staying the night in his truck. Hmm..uncomfortable times.


*We share similar interests; photography, computers, music, etc. However, whenever I try to show him the latest pics I took, he gets 'bored' and whips out his computer or ipad and shoves his latest pics in my face and completely ignores what I am showing him, and wants me to focus on his photos.


*So, the latest thing is that he said he is going thru a 'quarter life crisis' and has been reflecting on his past choices, friends, etc. and is considering a nomadic lifestyle. Doing the whole RV-ing thing and dropping out of society so to speak. But shortly after he said that, he went out and bought an RV, got a job in another state and is moving.

*He always makes a point to make sure how many 'friends' he has; whether they are on facebook, twitter, modelmayhem, etc. And demeans me for having few. Side note here: I have friends, I just choose not to flaunt everyone in others' faces if that makes sense.

*Whenever I start conversations with him, he has to point out simple facts of 'well actually that's not right,' or 'how can you prove that ....'
as far as to the point to where I basically throw my hands up in the air. Seems to me he has to always get the last word in, has to always be right, no matter if I back up my conversation with proven facts.

*I met his father, and we all went out doing some outdoor photography and we all had a good time. Well, when his dad went home, he said to me, "my dad likes photography and has been doing it for years, but I've only been doing it for a few years and already am far more advanced than he'll ever be, but I guess he tries"
I looked at him, thinking that's rude. Maybe he just enjoys it as a hobby and doesn't have the need to 'know everything about photography'..it seems that I've observed he likes to 'try' to see the good in others but in the end, he has to 'be the best.'

I could go on and on noting numerous occasions where he seems narcissistic, passive-aggressive, however you want to sugar coat it but this would turn into a novel.

He is highly intelligent regarding computers and as he said he is a jack of all trades, master of none. He got fired about a year ago and has been on unemployment ever since and trying to start a photography business but hasn't had much luck in paying the bills.

Given this information I've provided, is this a case of extreme narcissism or what?

*for the record, I am not a fool, but like I stated above, when it comes to myself, I seem to be at a loss...I know, it's a bit strange.


Again, I apologize for this being quite lengthy. But thanks for reading and any insight would be helpful. I guess the forensics person in me is trying to decipher him.





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