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Hello everyone,
I'm new here and hope to find some advice and insight on my situation. This might end up being quite a long story so bear with me.

About a year and a half ago I met this guy online on a game, we ended up talking quite a bit and kinda became 'online friends' cause he lives in England and I live in the Netherlands. He wasn't really my type so I didn't see anything else in him than that. He confessed to me 2 times in the passing year but I didn't and couldn't act on it (was living with my boyfriend back then).
When I broke up with that boyfriend the guy confessed again but I rejected him once again.. then it all started with me being annoyed when he didn't talk to me or as much as I wanted him to and sooner or later I realised I did have feelings for him as I noticed he changed over the year I have come to know him. He got more mature and kind.
He was really happy when I told him I liked him saying he's been liking me for so long. When we got together I sometimes got the cutest messages saying he is the happiest he has ever been etc. We decided to meet up (before anyone wonders we skyped a lot so yes I know what he looked like n sounded like) and needless to say it was the best week of my life and for him too, so much that not even a week after leaving we met up again. We had this huge spark going on and it was anything beyond I ever experienced. I was truly falling in love and enjoying every second of him and so was he. He was really dedicated to me, very caring, very understanding and selfless. He gave me a lot and I gave him a lot in return. If there was a problem we had it fixed in no time cause all we wanted to do was make each other happy. About 4 months into the relationship I ended up spending a month with him and his family and they were all really fond of me. He took me to his grandfathers grave and introduced us because we were both the most important persons in his life (I thought this was so sweet). But after that month when I got home things started to get a bit rough on us. We argued quite a bit and sometimes he had an attitude towards me he never dared to have before telling me to sod off etc. I know he was in a bad spot in his life. He is already unemployed for more than a year and he wasn't getting anywhere in life. I know he wants to because he said if he got a job soon he can start saving up so we could move in together if we got more serious. His brother isn't talking to him much because of it cause his brother is under the impression he is just being lazy and happy to live of jobseekers allowance. I tried giving him the best of times I could online, I was limited but I thought I was doing a good job. In the last month we were together there were 2 times he got so miserable he started talking we might not work out but I lifted him out of that. 2 weeks ago he came over for a few days and it was once again just perfect. Cuddling up, lying close to him in his arms. We were SO in love but when he got home it's when it all went downhill.. he didn't seem to care much about anything.. He sounded almost depressed.. it was then that the dreadful day arrived.. he said he didn't want to do this anymore. We talked about it, for hours on hours. Basically it comes down to that he is unhappy, with himself and with the whole situation he is in. He wanted a job so our relationship could get somewhere but he isn't getting any responses to his applications (I am also unemployed an looking). He said the distance isn't making him any happier, that he feels awful that he can't be with me all the time. He said he loves me so much and wishes I could live in England, closer to him. So he said he was so sorry for doing this but that he has to choose for himself right now because he ain't strong enough to keep this relationship going and that he was only going to bring me down with him.. He wants to sort himself out, focus on getting a job and he also said he didn't want to be bound to the computer and phone anymore since he feels miserable just sitting around in his room..

Almost a week has passed but we still talk frequently, we game together and most of all he still kept our picture on skype and his status about me and we still tell each other that we love each other.. that we think of each other.. even that we miss each other. It's still Hey babe and what not. He said he wants to fight for this and hopes we get back together one day. He also told his friends that he really loves me and misses me..

He's out and about quite a bit now but one thing got to me. He suddenly came home drunk out of his head and when I called him he was throwing up all over the place.. he kept saying that he wants to do what he wants to do, no boundaries, no rules and that if this is what it takes to give him some happiness every now and then then he will continue getting drunk.. It literally broke my heart cause he ain't that kind of guy to do such things. I talked to his family about it and they confirmed it, he only ever really did it on newyears and his birthday.

I worry sick about him. I feel terrible to see the one I love taking measures like this and I'm certainly not feeling the holiday vibe right now. I'd love anyone who can give me some advice or insight. Maybe even share a similar story? I'm lost and heartbroken.. x

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