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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi Mumma, I read your story and found it interesting as I have had intimacy problems in the past. I believe your boyfriend has had intimacy problems in the past and the fact that he spent 8 years with a woman and lived apart from her speaks volumes to me. It reflects a together but separate policy that frankly most women would not tolerate. The fact that he married her shortly before she passed was not a commitment but a gesture and one could surmise that it was something she wanted for a long time. Intimacy problems and a fear of commitment go hand in hand. Intimacy goes far beyond the bedroom and it involves the small gestures of love in your day to day life.It's when he comes up behind you when you are cooking and puts his arms around you and kisses your neck or when you go out for dinner and you talk the night away without realizing 3 hours have passed. communication is the key to intimacy, its knowing what your partner really wants. Keeping pictures of his ex on display is grossly inappropriate and should be removed. As far as viagra, yes it helps with the physical aspects but not with true intimacy that is often found outside the bedroom. Your boyfriend may be using the memory of his ex to dodge any intimacy with you. it's certainly possible. You need to find out what your future is with this man ie. does he want to marry, or have children....remember your are investing your time and emotions in this you want to be with a man who builds walls or a man who tears down your walls? Anyway, I hope things get better for you.......lenvegas

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