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I know this topic has been beaten to death in certain circles, but my jealousy is destroying my relationship. My boyfriend of a little over a year has an ex gf who he dated for three years, lived with, hooked up with a few times after their break up- all many years ago. They have been "just friends" for a while before meeting me, but I'm still incredibly uncomfortable with their relationship. They call their dogs "brothers", they talk on the phone multiple times a week, they meet up with mutual friends multiple times a month, he's told me how they are perfect on paper, but don't work in person. When my bf first started dating me, the ex was not nice to me at all. Ignored me, told my bf she wouldn't go out in a group with me because she would likely "say something mean to the little girl" (I'm a bit younger than them), and even now, after a year, if we go out with her, she'll make comments to me like "oh, your bf has a weird sense of humor, you'll get used to it". I've talked ad nauseaum to my bf about how his relationship with her makes me uncomfortable. He has cut back on their relationship, but I still can feel how much he wants to hang out with her, and that really hurts me. Just recently, I found a message he'd sent her saying how he's sorry he hasn't been in contact, told her some intimate details about our relationship (that we were going to see a therapist, etc) even though I'd explicitly asked him to not do that.

I'm so upset about this girl that I can't even focus for the jealousy. Even his best female friend agrees that he needs to put her on hold for a bit, has even recommended that I give him an ultimatum about it, but I know that's so terrible to do. I eventually want to be okay with him having a relationship with her within boundaries, but I just can't do that now. Any advice for how to deal with this? If I can't handle it, should I just leave? I know some people can handle their significant others being friends with exes, but this just seems like a lot to me.

Thanks!





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