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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

hello all,

well i have the most beautiful baby boy his 3 and half months and the last two years have been the worst previous to giving birth but i am alot happier now.

I basically dont know what happened me but due to alot of different issues such as intense family of origin
Odrama and me feeling sad, i got depressed. its hard to put ur finger on it when it happens because this absolute cloud of confusion comes over you and you start to question everything- that is at least what happened to me.

On christmas day i started zoloft 50mg and it was the worst decision as the drug completely did not agree with me and caused me extra anxiety and so many other side effects. thank god i switced to celexa and i am only on 10mg and feel soo much better, it really was hell but i feel like i am getting myself back and becoming so much stronger.

I am still hard on myself such as if i am tired and a bit snappy in my own head with my son if he is crying i feel i am a bad mother etc, today my husband passed a comment and i took it really to heart, he said his not a toy to be played with when i asked him to do this kissin game with him, anyways my husband is usually really sensitve and such a good guy but that comment really angered me. I dunno i suppose i am insecure in ways but i feel like im not doing a good job sometimes if i get really tired and short tempered. iN MY HEART I know i am doing a good job its just kinda mental how our mind works. anyways we had a little arguement where he passed a personal comment about me saying i would argue with the wall and i have a problem with everyone he later said sorry, i said maybe we should break up if thats how u feel.

this is my issue i constantly feel if we have an arguement we should break up or if my husband is in bad form its because of me, he is recently but its feinitely work issues but men just dont talk and he seems so down or aggravated sometimes and i feel its me, it was like that since about 2 yrs dating and i used to always bring it up that he is not enthusiastic, at the same time we get on really well and i love him, his really chilled out and we vibe well together but i get frightened when he is in such bad form and sometimes i am afriad he has lost respect for me through this depression thing, oh lord anyways its tough sometimes life and relationships. When i was depressed i questioned my marriage us whether i loved him enough etc but through counselling i now see that it is anxiety that casues me to do this and my own low self esteem. but still its not easy.

I am getting there but man its been such a long road.....

i like to come on here just to get my thoughts across, i find its like therapy

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