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Relationship Health Message Board


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I am so tired mentally when it comes to my own family, the words that come to mind are drama, anxiety, messed up relationships- it seems its stressful for me to have any interaction with them and although i love them beyond words i think thats why it causes me so much pain to see them unhappy or behave the way they do.

This morning i had six missed calls from a brother whom i am closest with, he is a alcoholic but i am very close to him and the relationship in the past has caused me alot of stress and worry ( i was worried he was going to kill himself). anyways i have a young baby and saw my phone ringing at 8am and knew it was him up all night again drinking and wanting to talk i decided i would not pick up i was very tired anyway when i did wake he had sent me a picture message of him with black eyes and then another just of his shoes on the ground, *** i was worried and called my dad to go check on him and he said call your mother thats a (he uses my mothers maiden name) thing, that type of behaviour comes from her side! this is always the way my father is he blames my mothers side for how we are if anything is wrong,...

basically my brother works for him and they have a close relationship so i would think he would take the responsibility but then again my bro is 40 so should anyone be responsible, later my brother finally woke up and called me back and said oh that pic was an old pic of when i fell and banged my head on heater, obviously i wasnt picking up and he wanted to grab my attention. how is this normal. then they act like my reaction of worry is abnormal...

last nite speaking to my sister she was saying how shes not speaking to my mother and father and she wants to live her own life ( my sister creates alot of stress for me) anyway she goes on to say that she is the main person in my mams life, i live in a different place and that my mother was changing her will due to there fight and she felt people that are disconnected from her should not even be in the will!! i think she meant people that are not in her life immediately ie ME. I did not even bother to question her, anyway i dont want to talk about my alive mothers will.. i have had so much drama with my sister and verbal abuse and being manipulative trying to bring me down and then denying it.

after my baby was born my uncle died and i went home for the funeral because i spent most of the time with my dad and not all of it enturely with my mother when i got home my mother sent me a message saying she was going to have to let me go because it was causing her too much mental trauma worrying about me etc, this was right before christmas and i was so happy with my family and looking well there was no reason for her to worry! it really shook me and i ended up going on antidepressants because i couldnt cope, i had been mildly depressed for a year before i got pregnant and through the last part of pregnancy and i just felt i could not cope.

After i myself got married i started obsessing about my life my relationship was i truly happy etc but my husband is the perfect partner loving supportive and so together and always there for me, i do love him but i think the stress really affected my outlook and self esteem and maybe the anxiety made me focus on my relationship. the problem with anxiety is seeing it for that which i didnt but through therapy and now on the medication for a while i can now see it is anxiety, i still have insecurities but i dont worry as much as i did or obsess and analyze my relationship,i making so much progress and am so so much happier, but i just feel its constant with my family and i cant handle any more stress....

any suggestions on how to deal with this.xxxx





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