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Re: Feeling Stuck
Apr 16, 2013
I do feel stuck in the house. Also our house doesn't have alot of rooms with doors, so my husband can't just close the door when he's working. He acts like he can't go in to work either. I've suggested he go in to work like at least once a week but he prefers working from home. My son is in preschool daily half days so I feel like he's already tired which kind of puts a damper on us going anywhere also because my daughter naps in the afternoons. I'd like us to do fun outings on the weekends but then my husband goes to the gym and my son wants to go with him. So then the afternoon and my daughter's nap rolls around again, and I wind up not getting out on the weekends either much. I wouldn't say my husband is more fun, it's more that my husband is more permissive. I think the kids do like each other alot and play with each other.

Another thing causing problems is my husband's father and wife give way too many presents to the kids, which goes against my values because it is so materialistic. The house was so cluttered with toys that I was constantly picking up choking hazards and tripping hazards, and my daughter couldn't even walk through my son's bedroom because of all the toys. It was too much for him to pick up. I told them at Christmas to not give so much and they still did. They also give presents for every little holiday. I told my husband to tell them not to give so much, and they still do. His father tells him to tell the step mother and he doesn't tell her directly. It's like she is a shopaholic and dumping it all on us. My son acts like his step grandmother is his favorite grandma (because of the toys) and he is rude to my own mother who he only sees like once a year because of living far away. So it put me in the bad position of having to take toys away, because then while breastfeeding, my son would get jealous and turn on every noise making toy at the same time to get attention and distract my daughter. My husband doesn't care because he's not the one that picks up toys most of the time. So, finally I took like a dozen garbage bags and filled them with all the toys they don't play with and I'm going to donate them. The kids are actually happier with less toys. But I know the in laws will not respect our boundaries and will keep up their excessive giving. I will try to get us to do more outings though.

In answer to your question, my husband has always had trouble finding the motivation to do unpleasant tasks. He does chores like dumping garbage once a week, but on a daily basis he doesn't do much. He would rather hire someone to do anything that requires hard work. He seems to have the belief that he shouldn't have to do anything he doesn't like doing.

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