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I am new here. im lost I need advice.

I have recently moved in with the most wonderful man. I am divorced my self with 2 kids and he is just so sweet, thoughtful, kind and patient.

Problem is his ex wife is so very co dependent she is driving his children away from him.

he has a 15 year old daughter that has not spent any time with him in 3 years. when they first separated he got his girls joint custody. his oldest would go with him but slowly started to hide and make secret phone calls to her mom and then eventually started to cancel on her days with him because she said mom was to upset that you left us so im going to stay home with her. She now says that he has replaced them with me and my kids and never wants to speak with him again.

his 10 year old daughter who was 5 at the time they separated has been with him 2 days a week and every other weekend for the past 4 years with no issues. now all of a sudden she is starting the same behaviour. she will take his phone and text her mom and this can go on all day after the conversation she will start to feel sad and cry and ask to go home.

she wont do anything with out making sure she texts or phones her mom first. she is such a sweet bight young girl I just feel so sad for her.

she wont ever say why she is sad because she doesn't want to hurt anyones feelings.

does anyone have an advise how to counter act codependency when the one parent doesn't even know she does it.

his ex wife thinks that she is doing nothing wrong and its ok to call 20 times a day and tell her constantly how much she misses her and wishes she was home. this ex wife is also still hung up on my boy friend and says stupid things like you use to treat me like princess..... and your not the man I fell in love with.....

It seems to me like she is trying to quilt the kids into staying with her and having nothing to do with him because she is still angry and upset about the divorce.

any advise would be great... we basically just try to always stay positive never ever ever bad mouth her mother make sure she is always comfortable at out place and teach her independence and decision making skills.

I just don't want to see my boyfriend lose another daughter he is heart broken about this and so confused. in the past with his oldest he tried counselling but mom wouldn't not stop interfering.

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