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Losing my mind
Jun 9, 2013
Hey all. So here's the situation

There is a lot to tell here and I am going to be covering a bit of a back history as well from another relationship. I feel it's been pretty traumatic for me.

I'm 35 and have had 3 serious relationships in my life. The first we met just out of high school and were together for several years till she had to move away and we had to do a long distance relationship. For awhile we kept it together. Then she cheated on me. She got pregnant by him and before the baby was even born her and I were back together. I accepted her and the baby as my own. As time went by and we were making plans for me to move up there I found out she was sleeping with the other guy again.

My second serious relationship. We were together for a couple of years and she also cheated on me. After awhile we got back together. Went on for several years and we recovered and actually ended up married. We were married for 3 years when she tada! cheated on me again. That ended in divorce obviously.

Time goes by and by this point I've all but decided I am done dating. My friend's get me to try an online dating site and after meeting a couple of people I finally met my current girlfriend. She is 2 years younger than I and has 2 kids by her ex husband. They adore me and I them. We are together for a couple of years and they weren't easy years by any means. We had a lot of ups and downs and near break ups and finally a long period of time goes by and we decide to move in together. We have been living together for about a year when I find out about all the guys she flirts with. I call her out on it of course and it gets ugly but we work it out. A little more time goes by and I find her car one day in a parking lot which struck me as odd because she was supposed to be at a friend's house. So I waited across the street in another parking lot. An hour or so passes and she is being dropped off by someone else. So I didn't say anything I just let it be and decided to gather more evidence about my suspicions. I hack her email. I find out she slept with this guy. I called her out on it. I left and didn't say a word. A few weeks go by and we start talking again and before I know it were living together again. Now that is roughly 4 months behind us and everything has been going good...or so I thought. During this time period I am keeping tabs of everything. I found conversations where she was talking about the guy and said she realized she was superimposing another ex boyfriend onto him. That where sex was concerned he failed in comparison to me but he still wanted more. Sex is huge with her by the way. The friend she was talking to said he and her made out once and she was not impressed either. They were by the end of it making a joke of him. Of course I keep everything saved in my gmail as drafts because I torture myself apparently. So in the past 2 months here is what has gone on. She has an ex boyfriend has a lot of feelings for and he will not commit. She went so far as to tell him that if he doesn't want to commit and if he doesn't mind she wants to look at (well we shall call him Phil). She goes back to talking to Phil and apparently she isn't feeling it and everything is still going good between us. Last week everything was great. My paycheck got messed up and they shorted me and straightening it out on this week's check. We have had to rely solely on her paycheck. She spent most of it on Amazon. By this past Friday (we get paid bi weekly) everything was still good other than we were broke with no food. Saturday she turned on me and later borrowed some money from her mom. That same day she started texting Phil saying she was thinking about him. Saturday night things were good. We ate..drank a little had sex. Sunday she wakes up in a bad mood and goes to her mom's and stays the night.

Her ex husband is in town trying to mend his relationship with the girls. Her mom convinces her that he is wanting her back as well. She was entertaining the idea till he talked about another woman all night Sunday night. Monday were back to Phil. Ever since she is telling Phil how badly she wants to be with him once I move out. I believe there are other reasons and it's not truly that she wants him but he's simply a rebound.

To make matters worse she keeps telling her friend's lies about me and our relationship. She will tell them how great I am but then follow it up with something I didn't do whatsoever. They want her to get with Phil because they all run in the same circle and they think he's better for her than I am. (Phil has 5 kids and cheated on a good portion of his relationships) The kids are another issue of her's. They stay with their mother part of the time but she feels 7 kids is too much. Now her own mother has jumped on the bandwagon saying she should be with Phil and trying to get her to invite him out.

Because I am completely nuts I am still very much in love with her and don't want it to end. Don't get me wrong I know it has too. Here comes another big issue. My car broke down on me. My friend's won't let me stay with them because I went back to her to begin with. My parents have a full house so won't let me stay there. I have no money for a hotel because I have to get my car fixed and no idea how much that is going to be. I called the local shelters around here to try to stay there and they said I have to check in by a certain time every day or I won't be able to stay. There check in time is while I'm at work.

So right now I'm stuck here with no place to go. A broke down car and all I can do is wait for her to cheat again. One one hand I know I have to go without question. On the other hand if I wait around long enough she will ditch Phil and get back in our relationship but I can't keep doing this. It is putting me in a very dark place and making me feel physically ill.

After today the guy is gone for the next week and won't be able to communicate where he is at. So that should make a little less stress.

Any advice?

I'm sorry this was so long and I really appreciate you taking the time to read it.

There is a lot of history here. She has an ex boyfriend she never got over and this guy she has claimed to superimpose that boyfriend on. Most of her relationships last 3+ years

So right now I'm calling this guy Phil.
boyfriend she never got over Warren
and ex boyfriend she asked permission from William

So here is kind of what I'm thinking
William is the fallback for Warren and Phil is the fallback for both William and Warren...if you follow

I know that if I drug things out and stuck around she would come back this way but I just can't do it and I'm stuck here. I know that sounds like an excuse but it really honestly is the truth of things from everything I have tried.

I have screenshots of everything I am so tempted to send them to this guy and all her friends just so they can finally see the truth of everything instead of the exaggerated story she has been telling about me.

She also has horrible mood swings that can happen at any given time. Horrible with money and irresponsible in about every sense. This is all speculatory but I wonder if she has a mood disorder but she won't get it checked out. I've asked her too already. A lot of down times seems to happen when we are stressed out financially. Once we get out of that for a bit she seems to come back around.

I did start some apartment hunting and trying to fix my car myself yesterday as well.

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