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Relationship Health Message Board


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First, I know I am selfish and that this is wrong. I'm 33 and have been in a serious relationship for 10 years. I was a virgin when we met and he is the only guy I've been with. He wants to marry but I have been hesitant. I dated very little in college and feel like I do not have enough "experience" with men to ensure I'm making the right choice. I have this married male friend who is significantly older (20 years) who I am very close to. I trust him. He wants me but would never leave his wife or cross that line (without my permission). We respect & love each other as friends. I know it is not socially acceptable, but I'm thinking about being more intimate with him as a "safe" way to sort out my feelings about my boyfriend. I feel like there is a lot I can learn from being with another man. I dont want to act on these feelings after I am married, so I feel like now is a good time (granted, he is married but that is HIS choice- like I said, I'm not trying to steal him). Does anybody have any experience with such thoughts and did you act on them? IF you are here to judge, please don't respond.





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