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Hi, you say that it looks like she is bipolar, was she ever diagnosed with it? Since she is on a higher dose of antidepressants and it is not working well may indicate she is bipolar which is very important because it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a good relationship with someone who is bipolar. They go through two phases that being the manic phase(happy and energetic) to the depressive phase which is self explanatory. If you notice these extremes then make sure she sees a doctor for diagnosis and medication. Once stabilized her moods will be much more even making it easier to grow the relationship in a meaningful way.
[QUOTE=lenvegas;5198250]Hi, you say that it looks like she is bipolar, was she ever diagnosed with it? Since she is on a higher dose of antidepressants and it is not working well may indicate she is bipolar which is very important because it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a good relationship with someone who is bipolar. They go through two phases that being the manic phase(happy and energetic) to the depressive phase which is self explanatory. If you notice these extremes then make sure she sees a doctor for diagnosis and medication. Once stabilized her moods will be much more even making it easier to grow the relationship in a meaningful way.[/QUOTE]

She has not been diagnosed but that's exactly what she is like. One second she is loving and caring and the next she snaps. She went to a doctor and they simply told her to go to a psychiatrist and she has not gone. She is on 40mg dosage of antidepressants (which is apparently a lot) and the only effects it seems to have is that when she doesn't take them, she feels physically sick. I don't know how to get her to see a psychiatrist, I really don't.
[QUOTE=MarkKirwan;5198273]She has not been diagnosed but that's exactly what she is like. One second she is loving and caring and the next she snaps. She went to a doctor and they simply told her to go to a psychiatrist and she has not gone. She is on 40mg dosage of antidepressants (which is apparently a lot) and the only effects it seems to have is that when she doesn't take them, she feels physically sick. I don't know how to get her to see a psychiatrist, I really don't.[/QUOTE]
Hi you should not give up, if she is bipolar the medication will make her feel better as people with this condition live very tortured lives. The 40 mg seems like too much but it is hard to say because I do not know the drug. If it is an SSRI type drug like Paxil it is a little too much to start with. The few drugs I know for bipolar are not harsh at all as a matter of fact there is one that is non narcotic that will give her a full night's sleep with minimum morning grogginess.
You need to tell her she may have a chemical imbalance in her brain which is a medical condition than can be fixed. So like I said, do your best to get her to go, that's really the only thing you can do.
I was under the impression that quick mood changes are more a sign of Borderline Personality Disorder than bipolar, but either way, those are both serious problems that if you don't absolutely HAVE to deal with, I wouldn't. Seriously, the standard advice is: run.

As has been said, you can't fix her. And if it's getting worse, it will probably only continue that way. If she has BPD, nothing you do will never be enough, and it will always be your fault because you aren't trying hard enough, or doing enough, or whatever enough. Meanwhile, she'll try to isolate you even more from your friends.

You sound like a nice good guy, and you probably feel obliged to her, but you aren't. When you're dealing with a mental or behavioural problem, you have to think about yourself first, and if it means leaving her, then that's what you do.

Good luck, and please keep us posted on how it goes. This is a very concerning situation.
" I could honestly picture myself marrying her someday when she is being her happy, loving self. It would be such a shame to let this go knowing there is a possibility that she won't come back because she will be too stubborn to get the help she needs."

If she didn't come back then it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world because this relationship is just not healthy. I don't know if this is bipolar or not, she may just have anger issues and a lot of insecurity but I think the suggestion to make it a condition of you staying is that she gets some help for whatever is going on is a good one, and you may have to leave the relationship to motivate her to do that. If she doesn't get help, you are going to end up miserable living this way and whatever love you feel for her will turn into resentment. I doubt if she is happy being this way either, whether or not it is a mental illness, because being that angry and insecure about things can't be a happy way to live.





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