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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hey everyone! I am new here and also need advice as much as possible. I've moved out of state to be with my boyfriend and still to this day, it's hard making friends since my job is currently are older people that are married with kids. I am 26 and been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years.

To the point, we've been living together for about 1 1/2 years. We are really different and have different opinions so we fight a lot. What I need help is wanting to know if I'm being too needy or too much. My boyfriend claims we see each other all the time, granted we do but saying bye and love you in the morning doesn't count. We both work 8 hrs a day and sometimes I get home a little later because of the commute. When I get home, we have dinner, than he goes and plays his video games. This is daily and the usual duty until the weekend.

I get offended because the weekend is the only time we really get to hang out. It seems like everytime I tried to plan something for us, he always have to invite someone. He actually has more friends than I do because of his job. I didn't get lucky with mine (well my previous job I made new friends but now they're both moving out of state, lucky me right?). Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for him to just hangout with me like I'm not fun anymore. When we first started living together, we would play board games and have date nights... now I feel like he's gotten too comfortable or something. Also when we do go out just us, we're usually home by like 10... on a freaking weekend! He seriously makes me feel so old and he's only two years older than me! Anyways, now when we go out with friends, on a weekend or any days actually, we don't get home until like 12 or 1 in the morning. He still consider as us hanging out together all the time.

My question is am I wrong for wanting to hangout with my boyfriend? I always offer to play poker or board games or go somewhere but he always turned me down. I have expressed how I felt to him but he keeps saying I need to get over it and I'm being a drama queen. I feel like he wants me to be like him. He's super independent, prideful, macho exterior, and emotionless. it's rare that I get to see his soft and caring side. We both like to voice our opinions, always gotta be right, and stubborn. I feel like we don't balance. I've moved 1,200 miles away from home to start my life with him (and yes, without a ring) and I feel like sometimes I've made a mistake to come up here. I've had thoughts of cheating in my dreams and stuff but I've never cheated in my life nor do I want too. I feel like he's pushing me away and not noticing that he's doing it. I'm honestly a little unhappy and I tried so hard everyday to communicate and make this relationship work but it takes two to tango. I know I can be hard to deal with and I have my flaws but at least I admit it... he doesn't.

Can someone please give me any advice on what to do? I'm really stuck and it sucks I don't have any friends here that I can vent too that really tell me like it is instead of always taking my side. I want the truth.
I don't think you're too needy, I just think you and he don't have a lot in common.....maybe this relationship just isn't the right one for either of you
I don't think you are being too needy either.. I think now that your boyfriend has you he doesn't have to do the "work" that's needed to maintain a healthy relationship. He can do his own thing when he wants, when he wants to.

If I were in your shoes I would either do one of two things: I would either move out and find a place of my own where I would not be taken for granted or I would move back to where I came from.

I'm sorry but it doesn't sound like this guy loves you all that much. I think you could do a lot better. And remember, none of this is your fault. I wish I could tell you what you want to hear...

Hope this helps,
Sunny
Hi,
I agree with the above post.
If it were me I'd go back to where you came from. It sounds like your Boyfriend want's the ball in his court all the time.
It's not a case of you being needy, it's more a case of him playing the part of a REAL boyfriend. It dosent sound like you will change him.
Whatever you decide, good luck,

Solofelix.





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