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I have a problem.
Jul 24, 2013
My Boyfriend & I have been in a relationship for just over a year. The problem is, I have never trusted him, apart from right at the beginning, but as time went on and we spent more time together, the amount of trust I had started to slip. It's gotten to the point that I am convinced he's cheating on me or atleast has. The thing is, it's just little things that make me think this. The lube has been moved, condoms have been used and not with me. I brought this up to him and he said the lube is good for self pleasuring and he used the condoms when self pleasuring so there was no mess to clean up. Understandably when I noticed these things I freaked out until I asked him. But I've also found myself looking though his phone, pictures, emails, phone logs, even snooping around the house to see if there us any evidence he has cheated. I know he hasn't. I'm just a paranoid mess. I don't know how to get out this state of mind! I know I have a problem. I just have no idea how to deal with it. At this moment he is in the shower, his phone is on the sofa and im fighting the urge to look through it. I think talking about it with others will maybe help. Oh one last thing, I think he's getting fed up with the paranoia. He said something the other day via text, I replied whatever it was, I can't remember, but his reply was, 'James, if yoir paranoid, I don't want to hear it cause its all the time now.' That's another reason I know he hasn't cheated. I've been cheated on before, but u don't think that's the root cause. I'm tthinking maybe it has something to-do with the fact that my mother and father split up when I was 5, and because of this my brother and me were split up between my mum and Dad and I was brought up an only child. My dad worked all the time and literally was never there. I was also sexually abused for 3 years which I never told me Dad. I was too scared to tell him and I've never seen a professional about any of this. I just keep it all in my head, so I'm generally thinking my distrust stems back from all of that. Any insight would be valuable. :)

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