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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi, thanks for looking at my post :)
Basically, my sexual/relationship past is causing problems for me and my boyfriend. Its really early in our relationship, but we are with each other all the time.
My boyfriend is really bothered by what little he knows about my past. Ive been through a lot of tough things, but I know im not a loose woman or a bad person..but he seems to think lowley of me because of it..I want to be able to openly discuss things and work on it..but I dont know how. He brings up things he heard or things he wonders and becomes angry/upset. I want to be able to be honest to him about my past but i feel like he will be/is disgusted by me. He says he doesnt want to know about my past, but he will bring stuff up and get angry with me for it..he will say things like hes worried I will cheat on him etc.. and believes I am scandalous from what I can tell.
Long story short, I was extremely naive about sex and relationships growing up, everything I learned, I learned from experience. I regret that and wish things happened for me differently. I started having sex at a very young age, and was pretty much just' taken advantage of by men, it was never about pleasure for me, always about the other person...its always felt fake, like i could just be there lifeless and no one would have ever noticed. Ive never had a healthy sexual relationship, have been raped a few times, and enjoying sex is very very difficult for me, as much as i want to be able to with a person i love and want to be with. I have been with more people than im proud of, i was just trying to find a loving genuine relationship.
I feel like i need to not have sex so often, work on building a real friendship/relationship with my boyfriend, heal myself and start over new with sex etc..but i dont know how to work through these things with him..or if he really has the patience/want to do that for me.
Any advice is really appreciated, just looking for an outside perspective..kind of difficult to fill yall in on the whole situation. thanks again.

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