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Geez, even the title sounds selfish, I know.

First time poster here

I don't know if this sounds selfish but I have been living with a girl for about 6 months, I sleep at her house (room rental) every night because she wants me there and she cannot move out with me into our own house for a couple of reasons.

I have come to think that the amount of time she spends with her family is a little too much. By too much I mean every day at least an hour and then most of the day on Saturday, about 4-6 hours.

The problem I have is that when she spends the day with her family almost every Saturday (rarely misses it) and then my girlfriend will then tell me she can't spend any time with me on the Sunday because she has to clean and do laundry. She will just tell me to go do something and come back at night when she texts.

Two weeks ago she told me I had to stay at my mothers for the night because she was sleeping over her mums (who lives across the road, literally) then spent the whole next day with her family and text me at 8pm telling me to come back. Then last weekend she spent 5 hours with her family on the Saturday and 7 on the Sunday. I didn't get an invite on either day. I have known this family for over 20 years so its not like we don't get on.

I think I deserve a little bit more but I don't know if I am being selfish or controlling. I can see that she loves spending time with her family but should I be worried about how it will be in the future if we ever get married or have children.

I have brought this up a few times but I just get torn apart for effecting the time she gets to spend with her family. The common argument is "you see me every night" when I don't feel like we actually do anything on the weekends.

I do feel like I come last , also do get a little jealous. I love her and want to work this out but it just seems like what she wants and what I want are totally different.

What do you people think?

[QUOTE=sunnyrise;5218668]Sounds to me like your girlfriend is the controlling one and wants what she wants when she wants it. This does not sound like a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship to me, it sounds more like you rent a room from her and she gives the orders. And yes, it does sound like you come last. I hope I am wrong.

What if you decided to rent a room somewhere else? I wonder how she would react?


The living situation is an issue, we had planned to move out to a house of our own. I asked her if she could afford to do that and she told me she could afford to pay some rent. A few weeks later she bought a brand new car and told me the next day that she couldn't afford to move out anymore and she couldn't leave her dog.

I then told her I would get a place of my own because I wanted to have some control over my life. My girlfriend asked me why we have to change from the current situation. I try to tell her why but then she gets upset and I get ignored for the rest of the night.

With the whole family thing, I don't know how I could be any closer, before her brother moved out I was over her mums house a lot and I have a good relationship with her mum and I get along well with her sister. My girlfriend even gets a little bit jealous of how we muck around and have jokes. Saying that I feel that if she goes to her mums she doesn't want me to come, she just wants time with her and her sister and mum. Hard to explain but if I just turned up and started hanging out with her family without her brother she wouldn't like it.

It's quite hard for me because my best mate is my girlfriends brother and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it to see if they think I am in a normal relationship, never had this in a relationship before.


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