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Relationship Health Message Board

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So my boyfriends ex moved out on him almost 3 years ago. They were together for 5 and have a five year old child. We worked together and became close. Not relationship close, we just hung out. He was so distraught after she left him that all he spoke about to anyone who would listen was her. He speaks to his child everyday at least 3 times and always speaks to her after. Normally she is very short with him but he cant help himself, he needs to talk to her. I supported him as a friend for the first year, but now our relationship has changed. We have been in a serious relationship for almost 2 years. During this time his obsession got a little better but it was still bad. We would constatly argue about it. Finally we had a blow out and I told him I dont want to hear another word about her. He apologized and has not spoken about her unless its about their child or where hes meeting her to pick him up etc.. Well, about 3 weeks ago his phone was out and when they texts (they are not personal texts only regarding their son) but he still tells her he loves her when saying goodbye. She never says it back. She does not want to be with him, she made that very clear. When I asked him why he would continue to tell someone who left you 3 years ago you love them..he said its habit..NOOO its not habit espcially in text form. He promised he would not do that again, and he said its not really how it seems. He still looks at her facebook everyday. We are not friends on Facebook so I cant even see what hes doing. The ironic thing is her and I are facebook friends. He tells me he loves me and hes over her but he clearly is not. He always kept me away from his 5 year old son up until 2 weeks ago and we all spent a few days together. I have 4 kids all grown except my 11 year old, but he has been a part of their lives for a long time. He told me that should show me knowing his son will tell his mom. He said that was a big step for him. Im so confused, I dont want to waste any more time being 2nd best or just filling a void. I also know if she wanted to go back with him (which I know would not happen on her part) he would not even know me. For the last several months he hasnt really spoken to her, she knows hes with me but he is still obviously obsessed. Especially if he thinks she is out with a guy. Help!!

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